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“It all happened in Oakville, Washington, population 665. Here in Oakville, clouds fill the skies daily, bringing rain some 275 days a year. So, when it began pouring on the morning of August 7, 1994, no one was particularly concerned – until they realized it wasn’t raining rain. It was raining tiny blobs of gelatinous goo. It came down in torrents, blanketing 20 square miles, and brought with it something of a plague.” - Unsolved Mysteries

What’s in a name?

Etymology is a fascinating subject. It is the study of the origin of words. Languages are alive. They are subject to growth and change like any other living thing and have ancestral heritages traceable for generations. The English language is an intricate mosaic composed Germanic, Norse, French, Latin, and Greek pieces [and social media neologisms like “rizz” and “cap”].

The words that constitute every language have their own unique stories. These are tales of conquest, trade, migration, and interaction. The English language became latinized when William the Conqueror crossed the English Channel in 1066. Words like “ransack,” “scathe,” and “slaughter” come from Old Norse, a language that arrived in England after a series of Viking invasions in the centuries following the withdrawal of the Roman Empire from Britannia. Greek and Latin are consistently used to coin new words in the diverse fields of science and technology. Words arrive at our lexicon from all over the world and tell the riveting stories of their travels.

Etymology is essential to forming a complete understanding of the definition of a word. Sometimes, analyzing the meaning of a word requires a simplified etymological investigation. Such is the case with the term “star jelly.”

Keep this term in mind as you read about the mystery of the Oakville Blobs. It is the closest thing we have in the English language that can describe what exactly fell from the sky on the residents of Oakville, Washington in 1994.

Some say it was chopped up jellyfish. Others thought it was airplane waste. Still others insist that it was alien in origin, being composed of cells from an unknown creature.

This is the story of the Oakville Blobs and the puzzling investigation that followed their precipitation.

What exactly were the blobs made of? Where did they come from? Why were the results of subsequent laboratory tests so inconclusive and widely contradictory?

Let’s find out.

Via cortanawest.blogspot.com

August of 1994 was a strange time for the residents of Oakville, Washington. Being from the Pacific Northwest, they were accustomed to rainfall [unlike those of us from southern California]. Even in the summer, they could expect rain. This time, however, the substance falling from the sky wasn’t the clear liquid they were used to. It was gooey, and it made people ill.

The goo first appeared during a rainstorm. Officer David Lacey was driving in his police cruiser when the rain began to fall. On instinct, he turned on his windshield wipers, but they couldn’t clear his field of vision. Instead of wiping away water, they were smearing a gelatinous substance all over the glass [reminds me of the time I had defective wipers that would leave streaks everywhere]. Intrigued as well as irritated, Officer Lacey pulled into a gas station to clean off his windshield and figure out what was going on.

Officer Lacey would later describe in an episode of Unsolved Mysteries that the substance was “mushy” and had the texture of “Jello.” While wearing a pair of gloves, he was able to squish the substance in between his fingers. This was not water.

The “goo rain” had other witnesses, too. During the “storm,” a woman living in Oakville stepped outside to observe what was going on. She discovered clear blobs dotting the surface, which she described as being smaller than a grain of rice. Over a three-week period, the “goo rain” fell on six different occasions. What started off as an oddity, however, quickly developed into a perplexing concern. Soon after the goo rain began to fall, residents began feeling ill.

The symptoms were diverse. Residents reported feeling fatigued and nauseous, with some experiencing vertigo, upper respiratory problems, and inner ear infections. The blobs had a certain potency in their ability to “infect.” Resident Sunny Barclift noted that even touching the blobs with bare hands caused her to feel fatigued. Local doctors at first dismissed residents’ concerns about the blobs causing the illness, but as more and more “goo illness” cases emerged, they began to wonder if the gelatinous rain was the culprit.

Well, that, and the fact that animals began to die.

Resident Beverly Roberts reported that she knew of a dozen animals that died after the “rain” began to fall. One day, she decided to collect a sample of the goo when she noticed the carcasses of a frog and a raven nearby [frogs and ravens in one place? And you see them just by going outside? Must be nice to live that close to nature]. Whatever the celestial goo was, it posed a hazard to public health. This is when samples were officially collected and sent to a nearby hospital and then to the Washington State Departments of Health and Ecology.

And this is when the story takes a confusing turn.

The investigation into the goo rain ended up raising more questions than it did provide answers. In fact, despite all the effort that went into all the research, it seems as though it would have been less confusing had there not been an investigation in the first place.

First, there were the lab tests at the local hospital. The technicians found that the goo contained human white blood cells. Beyond that, the hospital investigation didn’t find anything of worthy of pointing out (although white blood cells seemingly falling from the sky is a highly unusual event).

Separately, the state Department of Health came to a different conclusion. Their sample contained two species of bacteria: Pseudomonas fluorescens and Enterobacter cloacae. This was a puzzling finding, as the lab technicians at the hospital only found eukaryotic white blood cells, which differ greatly in their composition from prokaryotic bacteria. These findings, however, didn’t offer much clarity, either. Neither of these bacteria species are known for their ability to cause widespread illness. Before the Department of Health could investigate any further, however, their samples disappeared from the lab, never to be seen again. To this day, no one has been able to explain how the samples disappeared.

The investigation at the Department of Ecology ended up yielding the most peculiar results. Their tests revealed no human cells in the goo. In fact, none of the cells were eukaryotic in nature, as they did not have nuclei. But they weren’t exactly prokaryotic, either. The Department of Ecology did not mention specific strains of bacteria, only that the cells in the goo belonged to an unnamed once living creature. A creature without eukaryotic cells? This violates everything we know about biology on planet Earth.

So, we have three different lab tests, all of which provided wildly different results. Furthermore, none of the tests speculated on the origin of the goo. They simply investigated what was inside of it, never mind the fact that it rained down from the sky on six different occasions over the course of six weeks.

It seems as though that is where the investigation stopped. No other investigations have been done that provide any clarification on the origin and exact composition of the cells. Well, the Department of Health can’t do anything more, at least, given that their sample vanished into thin air.

Is it just me, or are we not taking this incident seriously enough? We have a government research agency claiming that gelatin made of cells — which are not eukaryotic, by the way — from an unknown creature rained down from the clouds and caused illness and animal death throughout a municipality.

So, what really happened? Where could that goo have possibly come from? Well, before I dive into my explanations, I want to introduce to you the timeless phenomenon of “star jelly.”

Star jelly is one of the most puzzling phenomena of nature. Essentially, it is a gelatinous substance that will sometimes appear on grass or tree branches. What exactly causes the jelly to appear remains unknown, although it seems as though there are multiple possible explanations. Some say it is the remains of frogs or worms. Others say that it is the work of cyanobacteria or a certain fungus.

Regardless, the reason why it is called star jelly is because of the belief that it fell from the sky after meteor showers. In the Middle Ages, it was known as stella terrae, and it was thought to have medicinal properties (the residents of Oakville would beg to differ).

From what research has been done on star jelly, it is probably the case that it has many causes. Depending on the situation, it could be the regurgitated oviducts of amphibians (which look like white blobs when deposited), slime molds, or certain type of blue-green algae.

The interesting thing about this phenomenon, however, is its association with meteors. This brings us back to my initial discussion about etymology. What made medieval Europeans give this phenomenon such a telling name? In other words, what’s in a name?

Meteor showers do not occur very often. To have a strange gelatinous goo appear in a field or on tree branches the morning after a meteor shower is not an otherwise regular occurrence, such as birds spitting out frog innards, that would be mislabeled as something otherworldly. Otherwise, people would have seen that the goo appears just about anywhere at just about any time of year. The fact that an asteroid had a close encounter with Earth around the same time wouldn’t have led to any scientific connection between the two.

I do not believe in discrediting the conclusions drawn by scholars and scientists of old solely on the basis of the time period in which they made their discoveries. As I have discussed elsewhere on this substack, I believe that myths and folklore are all grounded in some meaningful sense of reality. As we explore the possible explanations for what happened in Oakville all those years ago, I think we should also keep our minds open to what may seem implausible or far-fetched.

Now, without further ado, let’s dig into our explanations for what happened. In thinking about and researching this case, I came up with several possible explanations.

This is the explanation we all want. It is sometimes the explanation that I dearly want. The reason why I mention aliens as a possibility is because of the conclusions that others have drawn based on the results of the Department of Ecology’s investigation. The finding that there were cells of an unknown creature that lacked nuclei is truly bizarre.

I do have some contentions, though. Why must we jump to the conclusion that aliens are the only explanation for otherwise inexplicable phenomena? The fact remains that it makes little sense that an advanced alien civilization would rain down the remains of a creature from their world on an unsuspecting, random town in Washington. If we are to assume that intelligent lifeforms that have constructed civilizations so advanced as to travel lightyears to reach our planet are behind this, then we must also assume that they would have a coherent explanation for why they visited our planet just to dump chopped up pieces of a random creature. I cannot think of any sane reason to do such a thing. There must be some kind of alien chain of command, be it governmental or business in nature, that would authorize a trip spanning entire galaxies. Why expend so many resources to pull an elaborate prank?

In fact, this sums up my view on a lot of supposed UFO sightings. We have to think about these alleged aliens as intelligent creatures that rationalize, weigh pros and cons, and draw smart conclusions based on the evidence at hand. I’m afraid we don’t give them enough credit, if they even exist. Why come all this way just to, what, briefly visit and then scurry away? If they want to study our planet, wouldn’t they have advanced telescopes and related technology that would allow them to retrieve all the data they want about us? How irresponsible is their version of a space agency so as to authorize all these trips just to make humans speculate about the existence of aliens? It puts our habits of government waste to shame.

So, what to make of the “unknown creature” conclusion? It is definitely interesting. It does, however, require a lot more study if we are to formulate any reasonable answer to the question of what the heck those cells are. I am wary of relying on the results of a single investigation. A lot more peer review is needed here. So, for now, I’m ruling this explanation out.

“The government” is just as mysterious and…convenient… as aliens, in my opinion. A lot of the times, the government is raised as a possible explanation for many things, even if it wouldn’t make much sense as to why they would be involved in the first place.

And yet, sometimes the best explanation is indeed “the government.” Operation Northwoods is a telling example. It was a proposed false flag operation by the CIA to commit terrorist attacks against US civilians and military personnel. From there, the government would blame the violence on Cuba so as to justify an invasion of the island nation. Another example consists of the results of the Congressional Nye Committee investigation into the banking and financial interests underlying United States intervention in World War I.

No, I am not ignorant of the fact that “the government” has (and still does) conspire against the American people. However, this does not mean we blame the government whenever something seems suspicious and well-coordinated. Just because many fell ill in Oakville as a result of the star jelly does not automatically mean it was the handiwork of the powers that be. Now, I am not a member of Congress. I do not have the authority to summon officials of the Department of Defense and the CDC for a hearing. I am also not an insider with access to never-before-seen information. Nor do I have connections to “anonymous sources” [although, I could just make it up that I do. After all, they are anonymous, so how could anyone verify? Fake insider sources and a blue checkmark on Twitter will land me a spot among the intellectual elite, I surmise]. I am a young man with Internet connection and a love of writing about strange things. That being said, I will approach this explanation by examining its logical merits.

The military has an active interest in defending against bioweapons. I would also imagine that it has a stockpile of its own, even if that part is kept a secret. Testing weaponized pathogens and toxins on animals will enable a team of researchers to draw compelling conclusions on the deadliness of a bioweapon. However, this will only offer limited information on how it affects human beings, whose immune systems are different than that of animals. As twisted as this sounds, human experimentation is required. What better way to test the transmission capabilities and effectiveness of a bioweapon than to infect the unsuspecting population of a small town?

I can actually think of many “better” ways.

First of all, what kind of bioweapon is this? The delivery method is…goo? That is fired from artillery shells? Or dropped from warplanes and helicopters? I suppose you could blanket a region with this stuff by running goo strafing operations.

Ok, fine, let’s suppose there is an effective delivery method and that this is an actual bioweapon. How is this any more effective than aerosolized pathogens or chemicals that are invisible and can be transmitted through the air? Furthermore, is the intention to kill enemy forces or simply make them feel dizzy and fatigued (symptoms they may already be experiencing from living and fighting in a hostile environment)? Also, goo is very difficult to control from the air, yes, but also from shells. Unlike poisonous gas that eventually dissipates, goo blown out of a shell can scatter over a wide range. What is to prevent unsuspecting friendly forces from coming across the far-flung, weaponized jelly? Additionally, what exactly is the bioweapon made out of? Bacteria that aren’t known for their ability to infect humans? Human white blood cells? Who was responsible for designing this smorgasbord?

Despite my obvious disbelief in the notion that this is a bioweapon, I will concede that the fact that the samples vanished from the Department of Health does have the appearance of conspiracy. Why else would presumably carefully labelled samples concerning a local public health hazard suddenly go missing?

Well, I can think of at least one reason, and that is incompetence. Do not underestimate this powerful human ability. However, when I consider the possibility of a highly coordinated heist, I become aware of a few problems with this explanation. Firstly, if the government was that intent on no one finding out the true nature of their bioweapon, then why not also steal the samples that went to the hospital and the Department of Ecology? Taking this question a step further, I’ll also ask, why test the bioweapon on the public in the first place? Spreading infectious goo over an entire town and expecting no one to take a sample or call in the local authorities for help is a foolish assumption. Human beings are curious. We want to find out how things work, especially when they are peculiar. I do not think that “the government” would have tested a bioweapon out in the open if they did not want anyone finding out about it.

Quite frankly, this bioweapon idea wouldn’t make it off the whiteboard. Other than testing potential weapons, I see no reason why the government would infect/poison a small town with relatively mild symptoms that had no impact on residents’ long-term health. Operation Northwoods and the Nye Committee investigation both tell us that when the government wants to conspire against the American people, they take a go-big-or-go-home approach. The Oakville Blobs incident simply does not fit the mold. Onto the next explanation.

Remember how I said that there are multiple possible explanations for the generation of star jelly? Although I am intrigued by its connection with meteor showers, I am also aware that there are other mundane explanations for its existence. As far as I’m aware, there was not a meteor shower in Oakville preceding the appearance of the blobs (although I could be wrong). So, what possible natural explanation could there be for the poisonous goo that fell from the sky in Oakville?

As you know, rainwater is not the only precipitate that falls from the sky. Snow, sleet, hail, ash, and a host of pollutants all “rain” down on humans everywhere. These precipitates can travel hundreds, if not thousands, of miles in the atmosphere before falling back down to earth.

And earth is “messy.” The “micro-planet” within our planet is bafflingly diverse. An uncountable host of eukarya, bacteria, and archaea sustain our world and can be found everywhere. It is no surprise, then, that various microorganisms were found in the Oakville Blobs. This may have been the result of environmental contamination. To me, this is the most obvious explanation for the diversity of the microbiological content of the blobs.

What about the blobs themselves? Where did they come from? Also, why did they cause illness in others?

I suspect that this was some kind of pollutant that may have been carried by the wind over a considerable distance. Along the way, whether in the air, on the ground, or during transport, the blobs “picked up” a variety of microorganisms that found a home within them. As for the “gelatin” that made up the blobs, there are many natural ways this can happen. For example, in 2012, sodium polyacrylate that had absorbed water from a rainstorm formed goopy blobs all over Bournemouth, England. Perhaps a similar event transpired in Oakville.

I’ll be honest. At first, I thought this really was some kind of government conspiracy. Alas, that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Nonetheless, I think it is necessary to have a healthy skepticism of those in power. History tells us, quite blatantly, that governments around the world and throughout the ages were and are more than willing to harm their own people. What I do not think is helpful is to automatically assume that “the government” is behind everything.

We have to be measured and open-minded in how we analyze and respond to the world around us. Otherwise, we will become paranoid and jaded. This is no way to live.

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