100 reasons to be grateful in an upside down world
I choke on the word pandemic as I write it, because oh how I wish I could put it behind me, but here I am. I reference the pandemic because not since it disrupted our reality in 2020 has life felt so utterly upside down. With 2023 coming to a close, I can safely say things haven’t felt this “pandemic-y” since we shuttered our doors and disinfected our groceries. And no, I’m not referencing getting sick, which funny enough is what I am as I write this, my first great cold of the cold season. I’m referencing the upside down that abounds: war seemingly everywhere, both actual and psychological, with all of us stuck in its wake grappling for mental, emotional, physical and spiritual safety. 2023, officially the hottest year on record, and despite my cold, I can attest to this: it’s 75 and sunny in Los Angeles in November. My rights as a woman? Don’t get my started. Everything is too expensive, including my children’s preferred milk which is up to $9.50 from $5 at the local grocer. Everyone around me is too busy to connect, and what was once isolation mandated by the state, now feels normal. How can someone have so much and yet feel so fearful, so uncertain, and so alone?
And yet.
Today my daughter was filling out an application that asked her what brings her joy and she wrote 200 words about hummingbirds.
Today my son couldn’t find the TV remote so he spent two hours playing with a tiny rubber bouncy ball. He told me I should play too, because it will “wake my brain up.”
Today my other daughter made the dough for her famous mini apple pies for Thanksgiving.
Today I am home, safe, warm, and surrounded by love — despite what my newsfeed and social media stories would have you believe. Today I am, just as I was during the height of the pandemic, a reflection of my mindset, my perspective. I am the whole world, and the whole world is me. I may not be able to change the world right now, but I can as always change what I focus on, and through that, how I experience it.
This week my husband expressed just how many times a night he is getting up worrying about work, and rightfully so: he has an important job with a lot of people counting on him (including and especially me). He wondered if a different job would be different, to which I responded with the truth that has governed my life the past few, very uncertain years:
Hummingbirds
Bouncy balls
Mini apple pies
Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends
A heater when the winter chill finally sets in
A stack of books by your bedside
A list of favorites on your phone who will always pick up when you call
Mary Oliver’s poetry
Overnight getaways that make close to home feel like a world away
Access to healthcare when you need it
Night-blooming jasmine
Creative collaborators that take your vision to the next level
Jeans that fit just right
A smile and a hello from a stranger
Night drives with the perfect playlist
Playlists in general
Thinking you ran out but finding a spare
Holding hands
Someone’s face lighting up when they see you
Making someone laugh
Being brave and making the choice you’ve been avoiding
Book clubs
Latte art
Letting go of pain you could easily have held onto
Learning new things as an adult (my first Jazz piano lesson is next week!)
Having big dreams, writing them down, and watching them come true
Relationships growing as you grow
Grandmothers and great grandmothers
The last word you hear before falling asleep being I love you
A safe, warm, comfortable bed
House slippers that have molded to your feet
A tall glass of ice water
A round glass of wine
A hot cup of coffee
Learning a new language
Getting the call or email back that you’ve been waiting for
New adult bestie friendships
It being a false alarm when it really matters
Insurance covering the procedure you or your loved one needs
A tax refund when you didn’t expect one
Being eligible for traffic school
A hug that lasts more than six seconds
Reading something so good you stop to read it twice
Salt and vinegar potato chips with full fat plain yogurt
A week on vacation by yourself
Letting go of a lung full of air, and knowing it will come back to you (The Shift)
Magic shows that you can’t figure out and don’t want to figure out
Remembering to play no matter how old you are
Growing up alongside your parents and your children
It never being too late to be who you might have been (George Eliot)
Homemade cornbread
The release of Fall, the embrace of Winter, the renewal of Spring, the vitality of Summer
A doctor that takes your symptoms seriously
Prayer always being an option
Fresh flowers from Trader Joe’s
Chocolate chip pancakes
Friends and family who believe in you
The ability to connect with kindred spirits around the world
Not needing to be in control all the time anymore
Your nervous system relaxing out of fight or flight
The dream or inspiration that comes in the middle of the night that you still remember in the morning
The passion project that ends up changing your life
The steady job that provides for the life you live
Affirmation from a stranger
Affirmation from a friend
Therapists
Song lyrics that you still remember twenty plus years later
Heirloom jewelry that passes between generations
Mood lighting
Houseplants that stay alive
Learning the meaning of life (“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” — Alan Wilson Watts)
When someone says, “Take your time”
Bose wireless noise-canceling headphones
A dog wagging his tail every time he sees you like it’s the first time
Belly laughs
Dancing so hard you break a sweat
When guilt closes your eyes, letting gratitude open them (The ABCs of Self Love)
Double dates at fancy restaurants
Staying up to binge watch a show or binge reading a book
The smell in the air after the rain
Waking up without an alarm
Growing and changing even when it’s easier to stay the same
Experiencing art that makes you feel seen
Being enough and having enough and knowing both in real time
When the universe sends a message that says you’re on the right path
New friends that feel like old friends, and old friends that feel like new friends
Deep, home-feeling, love
Leaving or receiving a five-star review
This body that carries you
This mind that expands you
This soul that defines you
Having enough energy to live a full life
Being surrounded by people like YOU, dear reader
The sun that still rises
The moon that still glows
The tides that still rush forward and back
The bees that still hum
The earth that still blooms
The wind that still gently kisses your cheeks (Self Love Poetry)
“Everything, everything.” — Teddy Godfred
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