About - Hello Hayes
Hello Hayes is a weekly newsletter from me, Alexandra Hayes Robinson. Every Thursday I’ll answer a community question about how to navigate turbulence within our relationships: the ones we have with each other, with work, and most importantly, with ourselves.
Send your advice letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com
Hello Hayes, the newsletter, was born from a series I started on TikTok called (Tough) Conversations with Hayes. The TL;DR concept: I write scripts for people’s tough conversations; I give them words for when they know what to say, but they need help saying it. Shortly after I started that series, my DMs erupted with thoughtful, interesting questions from new friends in my community. Some of them can be answered in a 3-minute video (“How do I tell my friend she can’t bring her dog to my house?”), but for others, I was craving more nuance, more time with the topic. I wanted…long form!
I didn’t realize this, though, until last week, when the miracle of what I’m building sort of smacked me in the face. I have always wanted my own advice column, but was constantly told — by employers and then reinforced by my own inner critic — that it just wasn’t in the cards for me: You missed your chance, advice columns are ancient, you’re not talented enough, you’re not qualified, blah blah blah. And so I put it to bed along with my other delusional ideas, charged along, and tried to find my purpose building other people’s dreams in start up land. When I started my TikTok in November after quitting my full-time job to pursue consulting, I knew I wanted to find my creativity…but starting that advice column I had always dreamed about? That was some sub-conscious, magic universe shit. I did not realize that that’s what I was doing when I started the video series, or when I made any of those other vulnerable videos about my relationship with my husband. Even the fact that I made my handle" “Hello Hayes” is a marvel to me.
Before you go, a quick word about my name: Yes, I’m Alexandra, but my people have always called me by my (former) last name, Hayes. I decided to take my husband’s name when we got married (Robinson), but I knew I wanted to keep Hayes — and not just as a nickname or a memory. So I changed my middle name (it was easy to say goodbye to its predecessor, Frances) along with my last. Easy. Actually I wouldn’t know — Brian did all the paperwork. The point I’m trying to make: I was desperate to keep “Hayes” as an integral part of my identity. Little did I know that three years later, it would become more than my name, it would represent the creative life I’m committed to living. Who woulda thunk. Here we are.
So please, call me Hayes.
Welcome to my inner circle.
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