PicoBlog

I applaud Gould for summoning the personal honesty to realize that she had been very selfish in many respects, and to recognize the value in her husband, his sacrifices, and the potential to rebuild. As a 63-year-old writer, married for 36 years, mother of four, grandmother of 11, who has published 5 books and has been writer for more than 40 years (it's hard for me to confess these numbers, but given the topic I think it's relevant), I find it very sad that feminism's excesses over the past generations have led so many women to feel that somehow, life needs to be "fair." Life isn't fair. Motherhood is hard, but how tiresome it is to hear women complaining about its enervating asepcts all the time, mostly women who are living with more choices, more material wealth, than any women in history. Nothing in life that is truly, monumentally consequential will ever be anything but hard work, requiring self-sacrifice, patience, and--this is key--a long-term view. This includes marriage and raising kids.

I have been extremely fortunate that my husband, who has run a small but successful business, has been totally supportive of my work, my biggest cheerleader, especially when I've had bouts of professional jealousy (of other writers) and resentful at the low pay of my field. We have also been blessed to have had a foundation of religious Jewish values, living in communities that supported our values and choices of "family first." This has helped me not lose sight of the short- and long-term value of the mundane tasks involved in managing a family, and working through the ebbs and flows of a marriage.

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