Comments - Male Loneliness is Killing Us
When my son came out as trans I had to admit that part of my own emotional response to the whole thing was a feeling that he had "gone over to the other team." That despite the fact I primarily sleep with men, I didn't really like or trust them. This was clearly a me problem which, though understandable given misogyny and my own personal experience with actual shitty, violent men, I had to grapple with in order to be unequivocal in my support of my son.
To my son's credit, when I owned up to some of my own response, my son's response was that he doesn't often like or trust cis-het men either. This made me feel like slightly less of an asshole.
I'm still working on this because, like you, my distrust and dislike has been inspired primarily by the inability of men in my life to be in loving relationship to me and other people. Now, however, I honestly like my current partner a lot as a person, which is new, and realizing that has helped me stay when the realities of maintaining a relationship confront me.
Part of me wants to write this dude off. Like, maybe you hate women because you're hateful and not because women deserve your bullshit? Dumbass. But because I have dealt with his level of misogyny all my life I can't discount the necessity to confront it. The trick, for me anyway, has been to do that while making sure that same hatefulness has no access to my daily, intimate life.
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