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That feels weird.  Fam, as a form of address, is one of those words that I feel like I can’t really use; it just sounds strange coming from my mouth.  I’m the wrong age and from the wrong cultures to really make it work.  When I use fam like that, I can feel young people within a twenty-block radius rolling their eyes at me.  It gives a real “hello fellow kids” vibe.  And that’s weird.  Because I’ve been using “fam” to reference my actual family for several decades now.

But let me back up a second and talk about music.

I came across an interview with members of a Japanese band called never young beach (stylized as all lowercase) about the release of their new record (this is back in 2016).  The record was called Fam Fam and the interview opened with this note:

〈fam〉は英語のスラングで〈固い絆で結ばれた家族や仲間〉という意味を持つ。

Which, loosely translated, says:

“fam” is an English slang word meaning “a tightly bonded group of family and friends.”

And that’s really a good definition…Merriam-Webster takes the extra step of separating the two uses - family and friends - into separate sub-definitions:

Informal:  Family

Slang: a close friend —used especially as a form of address

So, here we have a record by a Japanese rock band using a current bit of English slang as an album title. By itself, that’s not all that unusual. Frankly, Japanese rock bands have been having their way with English for decades now. What is interesting though is how quickly fam has entered the lexicon.

I had assumed, when I started to research the word, that like bro or sis, fam is a shortening that would have existed for centuries.  After all, the word family itself dates back to the 15th century.

And while it may very well have existed in conversation, we don’t seem to have much record of it in the literature.  Merriam-Webster lists the first use of fam in 1990.  That’s not a typo.  The Corpus of Historical American English goes back a bit farther, all the way back to 1998.  Even Green’s Dictionary of Slang only takes it back to the early ‘70s.

But, again, those are all usages where fam is just a shortened form of family.  None of them record fam being used as a term of address.  That etymology is even newer and even harder to trace (Green’s Dictionary of Slang does have a historical listing for this usage - in 2011).  Like so much modern language, fam as a form of address seems to have arisen in Black culture and moved into more mainstream culture through social media.

In that regard, as much as it reminds me of bro or sis, it really reminds me of another slang word that travelled into mainstream culture from Black culture, cuz.

There, too, the word existed as a shortened form for centuries before being adopted into a form of address for people you are not actually related to.  Fam seems to have taken a similar route. But I suspect we’ll have to wait for Oxford to finish their dictionary of AAVE before we have a definitive answer.

In the meantime, why would a Japanese band choose this odd little bit of English slang as their album title?  Perhaps fam serves a purpose not found in the Japanese language; Japanese has several words for family and they can all be shortened but there is not, so far as I know, a perfect synonym for fam.

(My wife, whose first language is Japanese, suggested 同志 (どうし) which means “comrade” or “kindred spirit.”  So, I could be wrong?)

In the interview, the songwriter talks about the band becoming closer while recording the album (their second) and how much he enjoyed having a house full of his friends and bandmates surrounding him at all times.  He contrasted this with the fact that his parents have passed away already and thus his band became his found family.

Here’s an explanation of found family from Estefanía Vélez, writing in the New York Public Library’s blog:

The "Found Family" or “Family of Choice” trope refers to a device in literature and media where a group of characters find themselves united in a family-bond based on shared experiences, mutual understanding, and interpersonal connection. These arrangements often bring familial love they may have otherwise missed into their lives. Rather than the blood ties that may dictate some biological families, found family stories emphasize the connections and communities we choose for ourselves.

And that, it seems to me, might actually be a better definition of fam.  Fam is the people we address ourselves to, the people we expect to see us for who we are and the people we hope will forgive our missteps and indiscretions.  In other words, fam is not just short for family but for the people we have decided to accept as our family and blood ties be damned.  Right, fam?

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Normally, this is where I’d mention a book I’m reading or interested in, but, uhh, I’m behind in my reading.  So, until I get caught up, maybe next month, maybe in ten years, I’m going to take a different tack and recommend some music:

Let’s talk about never young beach’s Fam Fam.  First, and most importantly, this is a great record; don’t let the label “blues rock” fool you.  Never young beach have taken equal parts rockabilly, surf rock, and J-Pop/Rock and put together a light, compelling sound that belies the emotiveness of their lyrics.  Especially noteworthy are the songs “Akarui Mirai” (lit. Bright Future) and “Owakareno Uta” (which I would translate as “The Breakup Song but Deepl machine translates as “The Farewell Song”) and, of course, the title track, “fam fam.”

“fam fam” is a picture of both youth and loss.  The lyrics paint a picture of young people just hanging out, having fun, living their lives.  And yet woven in are references to someone now gone, in the form of an apology for going on without them.  It kills me but I can relate.

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