Fast Food and Fry Sauce in Utah
What’s up Palumbros? I’m on the road, currently in Salt Lake City, where I had to switch hotels because I was getting some real stabby vibes from the Motel 6 I had booked in advance. Currently, I’m laid up at a Comfort Inn near the airport. Everything smells like bleach and I’m sure many people here are cheating on their wives. If you knew my childhood, you’d know that I feel real comfortable right about now.
I left Los Angeles on Wednesday, but not before having a great send off at Walt’s Bar in Eagle Rock on Monday night. If you’ve never been to Walt’s, hey, what are you doing? Go to Walt’s. It’s a retro pinball bar that’s not artificially manufactured to seem cool. You know those bars that feel fake? Mechanical in their design and character? Yeah, that’s not Walt’s. It’s just a rad, cozy, pretty cheap place to drink. They’ve got a great selection of beer, natural wine, and oh they have juicy thick hot dogs, too.
Natural wine and hot dogs might seem like an odd pairing, but dammit it works. The hot dogs are house made—all-beef, juicy, jumbo sized and Costco-style. The bun kind of lacks, but the mustard is of high quality. Burgerlords makes a vegan dog for them, too, and it also rocks. Go to Walt’s, and you’ll see them spinning on the hot dog roller behind the bar. They will call to you. Oh, they will call to you.
The Pavette pinot noir was refreshing and fruity. I love when wine tastes tart, ya know? Almost like raspberries. The perfect beverage to wash down a plump dog in the Summertime.
My final night in town I put back a bottle of pinot, a few bummed cigarettes, and two hot dogs. Not a better way to go out, in my opinion. Now, I’m in Utah, where I’m on assignment to try a bunch of fast food and write about it. But first, subscribe will ya???
Utah doesn’t exactly have its finger on the pulse. The term fry sauce simply never caught on nationally. Mayonnaise and ketchup together is more widely known as burger sauce or Russian dressing. Fry sauce is what a toddler stupidly calls ketchup. It’s how a person with a severe head injury orders from Burger King.
So, what exactly is Arctic Circle claiming to have invented? Because nobody outside of Utah actually says fry sauce. Are they implying that they were the first people to put ketchup and mayo together? Because oh hell no.
France is said to have invented mayonnaise sometime in the 18th century. Spain has had mayonnaise far longer than the US, and they’ve had tomatoes for much longer than that. You mean to tell me they’ve never thought to combine the two ever?
In Argentina, salsa golf has been a thing since the 1920’s. Hell, ketchup goes back to Imperial China. So, am I to believe that everybody else on planet earth has had the tools to make fry sauce but just didn’t think to mix an eggy condiment with ketchup until somebody in 1950’s Utah? No, that’s bullshit. Fry sauce is bullshit.
More importantly, Arctic Circle’s fry sauce just isn’t that great. Don’t believe the hype here. If you Google food to eat in Utah, you are inevitably going to get sent somewhere that has fry sauce. It’s not going to blow you away. That’s because anybody can fucking mix ketchup and mayonnaise together. People claim that the fry sauce in Utah has secret spices, but think for a second about white Mormons in Utah having some sort of delicious, mystic seasoning we don’t know about. Like everything else, it’s probably just Worcestershire and garlic powder.
Oh, and the fries were pretty good. Golden, salted, and greasy. Better than the other fast food joints I’ve had in Utah.
It’s not often that you see halibut as the fish of choice for a fried fish sandwich, let alone at a fast food joint. Pollock, cod, and cod-pollock-trash mashups reign supreme in the fast fish sandwich universe. But does the frozen Alaskan halibut make a huge difference in a fried fish sandwich? Sure does.
The taste of the fish itself is flaky, clean, and feels like actual fish. It’s definitely not like church basement fish fry material, or even the spectacular walleye, but it’s a step up from what you’re getting at McDonald’s, and I love a McDonald’s filet-O-fish.
The halibut is breaded, fried, and man it is crispy. The texture of this sandwich absolutely rocks. Arctic grills their buns, too, which makes a huge difference. The bun was still soft, but the grilled char coupled with the craggy, crunchy breaded halibut was a joy to eat. It was loud and delightful.
The sandwich, though, only comes lightly dressed with shredded iceberg and tartar sauce. I know that pickles aren’t very traditional on a fish sandwich, but this thing needs some tartness. The move here is to order pickles on the side.
I actually finished this sandwich, which is not something I do every time I eat these days. I eat way too much as a food writer, and I’ve had to teach myself some restraint. There’s absolutely no reason for me to finish a full pastrami burger and chicken souvlaki plate from Crown Burger (catch that review on The Takeout soon), but I did indeed finish this fish sandwich with pure joy.
Many writers, myself included, used to italicize foreign foods. This is now rightly understood as being antiquated and harmful. What does foreign even mean, anyway? Especially here in America, where culture intersects relentlessly. Still, I always want to apply the italicized foreign foods rule to a Dairy Queen blizzard, scrapple, a gas station shmuffin, hoagies, and Primanti Brothers. I’ve never felt more alien than when I talk about these things to people in Los Angeles.
The Arctic Circle shake is a downright DQ Blizzard, and those are nearly impossible to fuck up. Whether it’s DQ, or a Fosters Freeze Twister, or an Arctic Circle Shake, they’re all essentially the same, wonderfully simple, sugary, steady frozen dessert. I believe Utah’s version of a “shake” across the board is just ice cream and a little bit of milk, which gives it that custardy, soft serve texture. You see thick shakes all over Utah, but trust me, the efforts of your straw will be futile. Use a spoon.
When faced with a Blizzard or Twister scenario, I go Butterfinger all the way. I don’t much care for Butterfinger as a regular candy bar, but as an ice cream topping, its delightful, crunchy texture and peanut butter flavor is the perfect accompaniment to vanilla soft serve.
I was pleasantly surprised by Arctic Circle. The fry sauce is a let down, but they’ve got more than meets the eye. The move at Arctic Circle is a halibut fish sandwich, and more halibut fish sandwiches in general. The fast food space needs them. Enough Frankenstein fish already.
Arctic Circle
1840 N. Main Street
Cedar City, UT 84720
That’s it! Thanks for reading The Move. I’m going to be on the road quite a bit the next few days, so I may take this coming Monday off. Still, subscribe and pay if ya want! Share with friends, too!
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