PicoBlog

**Language warning. This song contains some explicit language.**

When I was in college, I went to Chicago around Christmas time with my girlfriend and her family for a weekend. We did all the things visitors do in Chicago during the holiday season: we shopped along the Magnificent Mile, ate good food, and enjoyed the decorations and lights as we explored the city.

On the second day, everyone went back to the hotel to rest. Not wanting to hang around the hotel room, I chose to wander the city. There was a biting wind blowing off the lake that day. It was the kind where walking perpendicular to the wind made one side of your face hurt as it impeded the gust’s path.

Standing at an intersection waiting for the crosswalk signal to change, I tucked my chin into my jacket and looked at the ground. It was then I noticed the man in front of me wasn’t wearing shoes. I glanced up and saw he was likely homeless. He definitely didn’t have the means to adequately dress himself for the winter weather. I looked back at his feet. His heels were exposed; the rest of his feet were wrapped in pieces of cloth. The crosswalk signal changed, and he began to walk. I followed.

A voice in my head told me to give him my shoes.

How ridiculous is that? Then I’d be barefoot on a Chicago street in December. But I could buy another pair. I may have even had another pair in the hotel room, I don’t remember. Either way, I remember the voice in my head more than twenty years later.

I didn’t give him my shoes.

I’ve thought about that man a number of times since then, often with a tinge of guilt. I failed to live out the ethics Jesus taught in Matthew 25. I did not clothe that man. If I was among those Jesus was talking to, I was a goat. Because “whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me,” and I didn’t clothe him.

Lent is a time for us to confess and repent of our failures—failures in our relationship with God and with our fellow humans; especially those we have given ourselves license to disregard and discard through complex theological justifications we’ve concocted. But may we remember two of the most well-known parables about what it looks like to participate in Christ’s kingdom: the parable of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25 and the parable of Lazarus and the rich man in Luke 16. Both those parables sound a lot like “How Much a Dollar Cost.”

He looked at me and said, "Know the truth, it'll set you free
You're lookin' at the Messiah, the son of Jehovah, the higher power
The choir that spoke the word, the Holy Spirit
The nerve of Nazareth, and I'll tell you just how much a dollar cost
The price of having a spot in Heaven, embrace your loss, I am God"

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How much a dollar really cost?
The question is detrimental, paralyzin' my thoughts
Parasites in my stomach keep me with a gut feeling, y'all
Gotta see how I’m chillin' once I park this luxury car
Hopping out feeling big as Mutombo
"20 on pump 6" - dirty Marcellus called me Dumbo
20 years ago - can't forget
Now I can lend all my ear or two how to stack these residuals
Tenfold; the liberal concept of what men'll do
"20 on 6" - he didn't hear me
Indigenous African only spoke Zulu
My American tongue was slurry
Walked out the gas station
A homeless man with a semi-tan complexion
Asked me for ten rand, stressin' about dry land
Deep water, powder blue skies that crack open
A piece of crack that he wanted, I knew he was smokin'
He begged and pleaded
Asked me to feed him twice, I didn't believe it
Told him, "Beat it"
Contributin' money just for his pipe, I couldn't see it
He said, "My son, temptation is one thing that I've defeated
Listen to me, I want a single bill from you
Nothin' less, nothin' more"
I told him I ain't have it and closed my door
Tell me how much a dollar cost

It's more to feed your mind
Water, sun and love, the one you love
All you need, the air you breathe

He's starin' at me in disbelief
My temper is buildin', he's starin' at me, I grab my key
He's starin' at me, I started the car, then I tried to leave
And somethin' told me to keep it in park until I could see
The reason why he was mad at a stranger
Like I was supposed to save him
Like I'm the reason he's homeless and askin' me for a favor
He's starin' at me, his eyes followed me with no laser
He's starin' at me, I notice that his stare is contagious
Cause now I'm starin' back at him, feelin' some type of disrespect
If I could throw a bat at him, it'd be aimin' at his neck
I never understood someone beggin' for goods
Askin' for handouts, takin' it if they could
And this particular person just had it down pat
Starin' at me for the longest until he finally asked
Have you ever opened up Exodus 14?
A humble man is all that we ever need
Tell me how much a dollar cost

It's more to feed your mind
Water, sun and love, the one you love
All you need, the air you breathe

Guilt trippin' and feelin' resentment
I never met a transient that demanded attention
They got me frustrated, indecisive and power trippin'
Sour emotions got me lookin' at the universe different
I should distance myself, I should keep it relentless
My selfishness is what got me here, who am I kiddin'?
So I'mma tell you like I told the last bum
Crumbs and pennies, I need all of mines
And I recognize this type of panhandlin' all the time
I got better judgement, I know when it's hustlin', keep in mind
When I was strugglin', I did compromise, now I comprehend
I smell grandpa's old medicine, reekin' from your skin
Moonshine and gin, now you're babblin', your words ain't flatterin'
I'm imaginin' Denzel but lookin' at O'Neal
Kazaam is sad thrills, your gimmick is mediocre
The jig is up, I seen you from a mile away losin' focus
And I'm insensitive, and I lack empathy
He looked at me and said, "Your potential is bittersweet"
I looked at him and said, "Every nickel is mines to keep"
He looked at me and said, "Know the truth, it'll set you free
You're lookin' at the Messiah, the son of Jehovah, the higher power
The choir that spoke the word, the Holy Spirit
The nerve of Nazareth, and I'll tell you just how much a dollar cost
The price of having a spot in Heaven, embrace your loss, I am God"

I wash my hands, I said my grace
What more do you want from me?
Tears of a clown, guess I'm not all what is meant to be
Shades of grey will never change if I condone
Turn this page, help me change, so right my wrongs

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