How to Seduce Women
If you long for the ability to successfully seduce women, you have to learn how to properly listen. Listening, despite it being a mindless activity performed without thought, is unequivocally and emphatically the most powerful seduction technique that exists. It is a tool that, when done correctly, has the ability to make women obsessed with you. If you are on a date with a romantic interest, and you demonstrate that you are actually listening to them, they will be substantially more attracted to you. Everyone wants to feel significant and important, and when you truly listen to someone, they feel like what they say matters, and they will love you for it.
Have you ever told someone a story or accomplishment, only to have them respond with information about themselves as it pertains to what you said? Imagine training incredibly hard everyday for six months to run a marathon. The day finally comes, and you accomplish your goal. You excitedly inform a friend, only to have them begin speaking about all of the marathons they’ve run, and barely (if at all) acknowledge your achievement. Everyone has been subjected to occurrences like this, and it is incredibly frustrating. Behaving like this in conversation indirectly conveys that you are not interested in what the other person has to share, which makes them feel unimportant. People love talking about themselves, so naturally people are inwardly oriented (focused on themselves); however, if you want people to like you, you must be outwardly oriented, that is, focused on the person speaking.
The ability to listen effectively is a superpower. Luckily, it’s not some mythical quality that you are born with, but, rather, a skill that can be developed. Here’s the deal: you can’t fake being a great listener. People can instinctively determine if you are truly listening to them, as we evolved to have a remarkable understanding of non verbal communication due to our ancestors only being able to communicate non verbally hundreds of thousands of years ago.
In order to become an effective listener, you must practice presence, and luckily, it is a skill that can be refined on anyone. In order to become a phenomenal listener, turn off any internal dialogue, ignore any physical distractions in the background, and give the person who is speaking your full and undivided attention. After they stop talking, ask questions about what they said. Ideally, because you were actually listening, the questions you ask should be out of sincere interest. Doing this demonstrates that you actually care about what they have to say, and that you are interested in them as a person.
A significant problem many men have when flirting with women is thinking about questions to ask after she is done talking. This contradicts being present, as you can’t be fully focused on what is being said if you are attempting to listen to her and think about what to say next simultaneously. Your following remarks should be a natural result of your listening.
Eventually, you want to get to the point where you can take any ordinary or mundane topic, and make it fun and playful. I suggest exercising this skill while you are practicing being present in conversation to kill two birds with one stone. While there are specific methods that can be employed to make conversations fun, that is out of the scope of this article, but will be discussed in greater detail in upcoming ones.
I’ve discussed the importance of having fun and playful conversations with women in many of my articles. Many guys ask me how to develop the skills to have these kinds of conversations, and it all starts with presence. The magic in presence is that if you are genuinely listening to what someone is saying, you will never run out of things to discuss, as being present suggests that you are interested in what the person speaking has to say. This allows you to constantly ask them questions, and direct the conversation anyway you please. People, especially women, love to talk about themselves, and will literally talk your ears off about anything for days if you let them.
After mastering the art of listening, it is crucial that your conversations with women you are romantically interested in are not boring and logical, as these types of discussions decrease her attraction level towards you. On one hand, a woman will be flattered and thrilled that a guy they are dating is taking a sincere interest in her and letting her do the majority of the talking. However, if you are not stimulating her emotions somehow, no emotional impact will be made, and when she reflects about the date, she will associate a feeling of boredom with you, which will greatly reduce the chance of her going out with you again. This is why women often will say they had a great time, and that they want to go out again, but not be receptive when you attempt to schedule another date. A woman must associate positive emotions with you in order for her to desire seeing you again, which is why keeping conversations playful is so important. This doesn't mean you should constantly behave like a clown and attempt to make her laugh every time you speak, but the overall tone of the conversation should always be fun. Additionally, never ask unrelated questions back to back like you’re in a job interview, and don’t be so focused on the actual exchange of information, but always be conscious of the vibe (emotional connection) that’s being established.
Seduction is a skill, and like all skills, can be improved through practice. Seeking companionship with women is a naturally evolved primal desire, and if you aren’t currently getting the results with women you crave, the solution isn't to become despondent and throw in the towel completely like many men are currently doing. The solution is to take accountability, accept that you have a weakness, and work to improve this aspect of your life. If you want to be able to seduce women, start with becoming a great listener. Listening is a superpower that will yield profound results in your personal and dating life.
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