PicoBlog

The title of this post tempts me to spend the rest of the newsletter dissecting Alanis's lyrics, and explaining how vital she was in my youth as a fellow restless, Canadian, long-messy-haired, no-makeup, baggy-t-shirt-wearing chick.

But then I remember that I already wrote that newsletter.

Alas, this letter is not about Alanis. It’s about equanimity. Apparently, I’m just not done thinking about it, yet. I wrote about equanimity a few weeks ago, but I just saw this short video clip from a Pema Chödrön talk and needed to share it with you. It’s a great little moment, click below to watch it.

If you don’t know Pema Chödrön, you need to. She is an American Buddhist nun, and when asked why she became a Buddhist, she said “Because I hated my husband.” She is hilarious and brilliant and while all her books are gold, When Things Fall Apart is my go-to read when life feels impossible.

In this clip, she asks us to imagine lying in a cozy warm bed and listening to the soothing sound of rain on the roof. It’s peaceful and lovely. But if you happened to be planning an outdoor wedding that day, you will label the very same sound unpleasant, unwelcome, and infuriating. But the rain is just the rain.

It’s such a beautiful and simple way to look at equanimity. The rain just IS. It’s all about circumstances, and the circumstances are always changing. So maybe we can use a little equanimity to realize that our emotionally intense judgments might not serve us. We can just understand reality as it is, and then go from there.

But what happens when it’s more significant than just rain? What happens when we really don’t want to accept reality because it’s about betrayal or grief or some other deeply painful emotion? What then?

Najwa Zebian has a new book about change - The Only Constant - that lays out this mental framing:

I think I gravitate towards this concept of equanimity because I find it so difficult. I constantly come back to it and find new ways to use it in my daily life. It helps me feel a little more connected, and a little more at peace. Because, honestly —

What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab

(Get it? Everything can be fine on one hand AND on the other hand we can take action to change our lives?? She’s a fucking POET!)

Here’s what I want to share:

This is the original post on equanimity that went out to paid members, but now it’s free for everyone.

Equanimity: why it's not what you think

The writer behind the Maybe Baby newsletter actually had a baby and has been out on maternity leave. I was a little worried that it would be all baby content upon her return, but I’m grateful she is back to writing about the important stuff. Like sweatshirts.

Hot criminals from 100 years ago.

“Back in the ’20s, New South Wales police were experimenting with a new style of mugshot. Rather than simply taking a picture, the photographers treated the mugshots more like a form of portraiture, capturing the clothes, postures, and attitudes of their subjects.”

I’ve had requests for writing prompts lately, don’t forget that I’ve got lots of them organized by category over on Blue Mala. Happy journaling, my friends!

I am leading a Mission Flexible Veteran’s mindfulness retreat! This is our seventh retreat and our organization is growing. I’m not skilled at being proud of things — but I feel great pride in what we are creating here. If you’d like to read the latest newsletter about who counts as a “real” Veteran, and our new free online offerings for Vets, here you go:

Alright, I’ve got a retreat to lead. If you want to know what my mindfulness retreats look like - I’ve got some video recaps here.

I’m sending you much love and appreciation for being part of this community. Take good care of yourselves.

Much love,

~Lisa

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