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Ever since my formative identity-building years at BYU, I’ve sought out Mormon spaces welcoming to a wide variety of viewpoints and experiences. As I left my insulated Latter-day Saint home after graduating high school and entered a world of diverse and conflicting ideas, beliefs, and experiences, my complete reliance on church orthodoxy became inadequate to explain the complexities of the human lived experience I had been exposed to as a young adult. As I discovered and accepted principles and ideas outside of and sometimes even antagonistic to Latter-day Saint orthodoxy and current church policy and practice, I yearned to openly talk to others about the challenges and joys of discovering my own personal identity and evolving beliefs. My beliefs that mixed the goodness of my spiritual upbringing within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with the experiences and truths I learned as an independent adult living in and among a diverse world often were not accepted by my Latter-day Saint peers or welcome in official church settings.

My local Latter-day Saint congregations, whether filled with returned missionaries on BYU campus or consisting of older, working single adults in the greater Los Angeles area, never quite filled the need to openly explore my unorthodox spiritual and personal growth. While there were usually a few people who shared my ideas and progressive ideologies in any young single adult ward I visited, they all tended to sit in the back of the room and rarely participated in Sunday School discussions and never held callings of substantial ward clout or prominence.

As Covid-19 drastically changed my weekly Sabbath worship from filled cultural halls to a small living room in my parents’ house, I began actively seeking out channels to express my own unorthodox views and hear others’ as well. I sought out and followed similarly liberally minded Mormon academics and blogs but couldn’t seem to find a participatory place to join in on the discussion. While I enjoyed these opinions and viewpoints that were more similar to my own, it wasn’t until I stumbled upon the r/mormon subreddit over a month ago when I finally felt I had found an open place to participate in.

The subreddit is comfortably situated in the middle of two extremes, resting between the r/exmormon subreddit for former members and the r/latterdaysaints subreddit for members sharing faithful posts only. The Mormon subreddit seeks to include and promote diversity, stating in its description that “people of all faiths and perspectives are welcome to engage in civil, respectful discussion about topics related to Mormonism”. No one is punished or excluded for voicing opinions and ideas that run counter to current church leaders nor are Redditors removed if they support and believe in orthodox beliefs. Other than some guidelines for respectful online conduct, there are no requirements for or expectations from any Redditor who comes along.

The type of posts vary from day to day and cover a wide range of topics. People share personal stories of finding faith within and outside of the church, link to blog posts, podcasts, and articles from around the Mormonsphere, debate apologetics and church history, complain about or question church culture or policy, and react to current events or church news. Even an occasional non-member pops in to ask a question about the missionaries or tips on dating a member. Thanks to the dedicated work from the moderators, both criticism and faith comfortably reside throughout the subreddit in the type of posts being shared and more often than not in the comment section.

The anonymity of Reddit allows everyone to share whatever they truly feel or think without worrying about social consequences. Active members don’t have to look over their shoulder to check if their bishop is standing by with a pair of scissors anxious to cut a corner off their temple recommend for committing some act of disloyalty or sin. Nuanced members don’t have to worry about broadcasting their current standing with the church and its teachings to family members and friends they are not ready to have that conversation with yet. I for one can share my thoughts and validate the opinions and reactions I have related to church events and beliefs.

While r/mormon may not prove to be a safe place to learn and grow for everyone, I’ve discovered several truths from my short time on the sub that I feel all Latter-day Saints would benefit from at least engaging with.

First, the Mormon community is bigger than just Latter-day Saints and Utah. The Mormon faith tradition includes various sects and viewpoints other than the Latter-day Saint tradition. I’ve been surprised to hear perspectives from Community of Christ members, fundamentalist Mormons, and agnostic Mormons on the subreddit. While there definitely are important differences between Mormon sects, we all share a lot of history and the beauty, problems, and questions that come with it. Remembering there is more than one way to understand our history and scriptures from our Mormon neighbors endows Latter-day Saints with humility to unpack and re-examine our beliefs and actions.

Second, Mormons are at varying levels of spirituality and participation. It is easy when official church events are the main hub of social gatherings in Mormon culture to divide members into active, less active, and inactive. The reality is far from this. An acronym I first saw on the subreddit captures this reality perfectly. PIMO stands for Physically In, Mentally Out and refers to Latter-day Saints who no longer believe in foundational Latter-day Saint doctrine and attend church for social or personal reasons. Members should not assume that everyone who regularly participates in weekly worship services and activities shares the same beliefs the church has or holds the same intentions for participating.

Third, growth, faith, and love are found outside of the church, Christianity, and religion. While faith in God, Christ, and Latter-day Saint church leaders are powerful convictions for believing members, people who do not share these same convictions are not lost or in need of some higher power or more orthodox lifestyle to be happy. In the church, members often speak in diametric opposites: good and evil, joy and wickedness, the one true gospel and false prophets, the church and the world. As I’ve interacted with more former and nuanced members who have joined other Mormon sects and various Christain and non-Christain religions or are now atheist or agnostic, I’ve found that a plethora of lifestyles can bring the blessings that are promised to believing Latter-day Saints. While Latter-day Saints may still personally believe that their beliefs and doctrine are the only way to obtain eternal salvation, everyone should accept that people outside of their own faith tradition still experience real lasting happiness, faith, and love while being more welcoming of others who do not share their beliefs, whether in or outside of their own congregations or communities.

Fourth, inclusion breeds genuine dialogue. Allowing space for people with varying and even contradictory viewpoints and experiences doesn’t necessarily lead to contention and gridlock or even a loss of faith. Redditors with conflicting opinions or experiences on r/mormon often go back and forth in the comments. These conversations more often than not allow both sides to understand where the other person is coming from, even if they do not agree with each other. In my own experience, many Latter-day Saints tend to fear opposing viewpoints, often shutting down discussions in church settings that question commonly held beliefs or give voice to members’ doubts, difficult questions, or painful experiences regarding church culture and doctrine. Listening sincerely to Mormons and others with different experiences, beliefs, or viewpoints gives everyone involved more empathy and a chance to enhance one’s understanding of the world and their own faith.

I don’t expect the lessons I learned on r/mormon to change anyone’s current beliefs or standing with the Latter-day Saint community. I do hope that these ideas that I learned from my Mormon peers on Reddit can become part of how more Latter-day Saints choose to interact with those like me, both within and outside of their faith community, who hold differing opinions, beliefs, and lifestyle choices.

Image obtained from Canva.com

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