PicoBlog

Are you also following Loewahley a.k.a Laura on instagram? She’s our virtual work bestie also known for saying toodaloo and moist. Her How do you professionally say? videos are my favorite because they’re a massive help for people whose day job requires sending emails and attending meetings. So I’ve decided to transcribe and compile all of them (as of 14-June) into this cheat sheet. Also, does anyone know that guy in her videos who always have the perfect answer to the question:

(Note: Careful copying and pasting these cos you might accidentally send the wrong sentence to whoever you’re talking to ha, ha!)

I told you so.

As per my prediction, this outcome does not come as a surprise.

Can you do your job and respond to my emails?

With deadlines approaching, it’s imperative that I receive this information in order to proceed.

Why didn’t you ask me for this sooner?

Given the tight turnaround, it would have been beneficial to have been looped in on this sooner.

Stop emailing me so often.

To ensure that information does not get lost, let’s reduce frequency of communication so that updates are only provided once more details have been established.

That sounds like a horrible idea.

Are we confident that this is the best solution or are we still exploring alternatives?

I already told you this.

As indicated prior,

Can you answer all of the questions I asked and not just pick and choose one?

Are you able to provide some clarity around the other questions previously asked?

Did you even read my email?

Re-attaching my email to provide clarity.

I’ll provide an update when I have one. Stop bothering me.

You have not heard from me because further information is not available at this time. Once I have an update, I’ll be sure to loop you in.

I don’t want to talk to you right now.

I am currently tied up with something, but I will connect with you once I am free.

Do your job.

It is my understanding that you are the appropriate person to contact in regards to this, but if there is someone better equipped for this, please let me know.

This is not my problem.

I recommend directing this issue to [name] as they have the proper expertise to best assist you.

If you would have read the whole email, you’d know the answer to this.

I have included my initial email below which contains all of the details you’re looking for.

I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

Can you help me better understand what exactly it is that you require on my end?

You are not my boss.

I can look at prioritizing this behind my assigned responsibilities, however, I cannot commit a timeline as my workload is dictated by [insert name].

That sounds like a “you” problem.

I believe that falls within your scope of responsibilities, but I’m happy to support where it makes sense.

Stop micromanaging.

I am confident in my ability to complete this project and will be sure to reach out if or when I require your input.

Please hurry up and get this done.

It’s important that we have this completed in order to meet our targeted deadlines which are quickly approaching.

Stay in your own lane.

Thank you for your input. I’ll keep that in mind as I move forward with decisions that fall within my responsibility.

I’ve told you this multiple times.

There seems to be a disconnect here as this information has already been provided.

Stop bombarding me with messages.

To ensure that information does not get missed, can you please condense your communications into a single email where possible?

I’m not doing your job for you.

I do not have the capacity to take this on in additional to my own workload, but I’m happy to support where it makes sense.

I’m not staying late to deal with this.

My workday concludes at 5, but I would be happy to prioritize this first thing tomorrow.

Stop CC’ing everyone.

To optimize communication, perhaps we can target these emails to a more focused group.

We do not need to have a meeting about this.

Being respectful of everyone’s time, let’s discuss this through email until we have a more defined agenda.

Did you just take credit for my work?

It is great to see my ideas being exposed to a wider audience and I would have appreciated the opportunity to have been included in the delivery.

Google that for yourself.

The internet is a great resource for these types of questions and I am available to clarify elements that you are not able to find online.

What you are saying does not make sense.

We seem to have different understandings on this. Can you elaborate further on your thought process here?

I am not paid enough to do this.

This falls outside of my current job description, but if the opportunity for a role expansion becomes available, I would be happy to discuss reworking my contract to better align with these new responsibilities.

I totally forgot about your email.

Thank you for your patience.

I’m going to need a lot more detail if you want me to do this.

Please let me know when further details become available as I require more information to successfully complete this task.

Stop trying to call me before my workday even stays.

If you need to contact me, please note that my working hours begin at 8am and communications received prior to this will not be seen.

Check your inbox, I already sent this to you.

I previously sent you an email regarding that. Please let me know if something went wrong in the transit.

I couldn’t care less.

I will defer to your judgment on this as I am not passionate either way and I trust your expertise.

Stop ignoring my emails.

I understand this is a busy time and if it is easier for you to jump on a call, I am happy to set up some time in order to get this resolved.

Stop disrespecting me.

Our effectiveness would benefit from a greater level of respect and professionalism than what I currently feel is being displayed.

Stop interrupting me.

Thanks for your input, Jeff, but please wait until I am finished sharing my thoughts before proceeding.

Stop ignoring my meeting requests.

Your attendance is required for this discussion. If this date/time does not work on your end, please propose a new time that works for you.

I’m not working today. Why are you calling me?

If you’re off, just don’t answer.

I told you so and now this is your problem.

I did previously note that this was a likely outcome. How do you plan to resolve this?

Our deadline is approaching. Hurry up.

As our deadline is quickly approaching, can you provide an update as to where you are in completing this task?

Stop trying to make me do your work.

I am not able to offer you additional support in completing your workload as I’m at capacity with my own assigned responsibilities.

Try problem-solving on your own before you come to me.

I encourage you to brainstorm possible solutions prior to looping me in for additional support.

Can you do your job so I don’t have to?

Please let me know when your deliverables have been completed.

If further changes are required, do them yourself.

If further edits are required, I have attached a version of the document that you can apply your edits directly into.

Are you going to do your job or am I going to have to do it for you?

If you require my support to complete this task, please let me know.

Stop following up every 20 minutes. I’ll get back to you when I can.

I would appreciate your patience as I need time to address this. I will provide an update once one is available.

Read the whole email before you respond.

The previous communications contain the information you are looking for.

Follow Loewhaley here.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. — Proverbs 15:1

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