PicoBlog

There are a lot of cringey red-pill, pick up artist social media pages out there that talk about the importance of a man having “masculine frame”. These pages talk about things like the power of persuasion, the importance of your body language, and how to “trigger her imagination.” 

Let me start by saying, we won’t be discussing any of that today. I think that the concept of masculine frame is vitally important for a man to understand, however there is so much garbage information floating around on this topic that I wanted to offer a clear and grounded perspective on it that isn’t based in manipulation or strange woo-woo esoteric beliefs.

Simply put, masculine frame is a man’s foundation. As a Christian, a man’s foundation should be in his identity in Christ. For today, I am not going to be talking about this concept from a spiritual perspective and instead will focus on it from a highly practical and tangible angle, independent from a man’s faith.

In my view, a man’s frame is what gives him a sense of:

• Clarity, direction and vision.

• Groundedness and stability.

• Confidence and assertiveness.

• The ability to say no, stand his ground and set boundaries.

When a man has frame, he has what it takes to lead, and he has a presence that creates a sense of safety and security in his woman.

What Frame Isn’t

Frame is not some performative act a man puts on in order to get something from a woman. It’s not trying to be “alpha”, it’s not holding overly exaggerated eye contact, and you don’t need to be superhuman to possess it. Remember, having masculine frame is just about your foundation as a man. It is extremely important, but it’s not a magic formula either. Beware of anyone online who presents it as such, it’s likely they are just playing on the insecurities of men to try to seperate you from your hard earned money.

What Frame Is

“Masculine frame in a nutshell: this is who I am, this is what I want, and this is where I’m going. If you want to come with me, I’d love to have you. If not, there’s the door. No disrespect.” 

Breaking this down, we can define The Three Pillars Of Masculine Frame through:

Journal and reflect on the following:

• What are your strengths, and what are your weaknesses? Knowing this will give you confidence in who you are and what you have to bring to the table. It will also highlight areas that you need to improve, and it will identify areas of limitation for you as a man. Part of knowing who you are, is figuring out who you are not. Remember, you don’t need to be all things to all people. You need to be who you are. Own that fully and unapologetically. Don’t be a dick about it, but don’t be ashamed about it either. Being grounded in who you are means being realistic about what your strengths and weaknesses are.

• What character traits do you possess? Note, I’m not asking what character traits do you want to possess. I’m asking which ones you already have. Do you bring a sense of humor and a light hearted attitude to life? Are you driven and ambitious? Are you content and calm, or passionate and highly energetic? Think about the things that make you, you. Ask the people who know you best how they would describe you. The goal is to get to a place as a man where you can embody a perspective of, “this is who I am as a man, take it or leave it”. You don’t need to be rude or boisterous about that, but rather calm and confident in it.

• Where do your values and morals lie? In other words, what do you believe in? Your values dictate how you strive to live your life; they are the foundation. Spend some time getting clear on these so that when you meet a woman, you can quickly get a sense of whether or not you are on the same page.

One of the worst things for a woman in a relationship or marriage is to realize that her man doesn’t know what he wants. When this happens, there is no direction in the relationship unless she provides it. Knowing what you want as a man is essential. Do you want to be a husband and a father? If that’s the case, your dating efforts should be clearly directed towards that goal. You must have at least a rough idea of what your vision for a marriage is. Do you want your future wife to stay at home? How is your marriage going to be structured? What is it going to be structured around? When you have a clear idea of what you want, it gives a woman a choice whether she wants to walk the path forward with you. If you don’t know what you want, she is getting into a vehicle with a driver who has no idea why he even got into the car, or where exactly he is trying to drive to. 

You can’t have a solid frame as a man if you don’t know what you want. Really think about this. When I met my wife I laid everything out on the table very early on. This is who I am, this is where I’m going, and this is what I want. The more time we spent with each other, the more she got onboard with my vision and the direction I was moving in.

Knowing where you are going can be thought of as, “what is your mission in life”?

What are you moving towards, what are you pursuing, and what are you building? When I met Destany I was running a landscaping business with a close friend. I knew that where I wanted to go was turning Masculine Revival into my full-time business and career. I told Destany that when I had less than 1K followers and had never made a dollar from the page. But I was clear and convicted about it, and very early on in our relationship I started to gain some serious traction with the business, and within 6 months I was earning a full-time income from the page. Even now, I know with certainty that this is the work that I want to be doing and that gives my wife peace of mind. I’m doing what I want to be doing and I’m headed in a direction that I want to be moving in life. As a result my wife is happily coming with me. 

Understand this: when you are going where you want to be going in life as a man, your woman is going to get the best version of you. You owe it to her to claim your direction in life and to pursue it with intensity, passion and vigor. No woman wants to be with a man who is going through life in a zombified state, going through the motions of life half awake.

Let yourself ruminate on these three questions. Who am I? What do I want? And where am I going? Develop as much clarity as you can without obsessing over knowing the answer to every detail. The idea is to find a calm centered place inside of yourself where you feel a sense of internal stability. You’re on a path, you know who you are and you know what you are about, and you know what you want and are looking for. Boom. This is a man with masculine frame. Having frame is polarizing. It will repel the wrong people and attract the right ones, and that’s the point. A man with no frame is a chameleon in life whose primary objective is to just blend in. He has no power, no authority, and no presence. Reject being a chameleon, and embrace being a man with frame.

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