PicoBlog

I've been to NYC just once, during Fleet Week via US Navy ship, but you immersed me in a way a brief visit does not allow. I can feel the people, sounds and smells swirling around as you lived your life. It also helped me reflect on why I was drawn back to northwest Florida where I mostly grew up. I had a good childhood, spending much time with my maternal grandparents as a child of divorce, and the picture of you with your granny brought back memories of gardening with my grandmother and going with my grandfather to pick up shrimp and oysters for his gumbo. They are long gone but still here in my memory and my obsessive gardening. I love the feel and smell of the deep south: the dripping humidity, the warm Gulf, the vibrant greenery, the wild smell of the sea, raging tropical storms. But as those I love leave and I grow older, I look to the next stage. Our ties to places where there is memory of relationships can never be fully severed. Even though I'm one of those who makes few close friends, I'm still connected by my memories and a mother who is still here. Once her time passes, we will move. For now, I enjoy her splitting her time between our household in the country and a sister in Pensacola. I also stay to finish building a memorial to a lost daughter. Loss can be consuming and my husband and I have built a homestead farm from timberland, for the memory of the young woman and ag major who didn't get a chance to have her own farm. As aging and arthritis work to slow me down, I know I have to let go someday. I will always have the memories and I will love to someday see a family with children running around, enjoying the wonders of nature the way our daughter loved nature. Chris helped to make something beautiful; your son. Our daughter has driven us to make something beautiful.

Expand full comment

ncG1vNJzZminoJq7b7%2FUm6qtmZOge6S7zGinrppfn7Kvutien6iknJa7pXvPaKWer12uvLO3jKJkpaemmnq6u9Rmma6sXa68tr7EZpmroZ6ctq%2Bznq6rppejpMKzr8R2p6irpFuwsLnMnqWtq22pv7axha6rppedmrGqwcx2rp6a