PicoBlog

The world needs better sex! I’m Ruth Ramsay, adult sex educator and coach, and it’s my life’s purpose to help make that happen. This newsletter is one small but powerful step towards that.

We are living at a time where sex education in our upbringing was woefully inadequate - meaning as adults we all too often are stumbling around at the mercy of the ‘education’ we see in mainstream media. What if we understood our bodies and partners’ bodies, the basics of how desire works, could decode the belief systems and incorrect messages we’ve received, get in touch with who we truly are sexually and communicate that to partners? Wouldn’t we - and our relationships - be happier and healthier?

My mission with this newsletter is to get you thinking differently about sex… free of shame, rules, and ‘should’s. Every Saturday I’ll bring you something actionable and thought-provoking which you can put into practice that very weekend. Whether you are single, partnered, multi-partnered or playing; whatever your gender identity; as the weeks pass you’ll expand your view and understanding of sex and of your unique and wonderful erotic self.

I’ve put out over 120 of these newsletters to my private community, prior to moving to Substack, and the thank you messages and feedback I’ve had from them means I know their power! I look forward to you experiencing that too.

ABOUT ME

How did I get to this work? In my mid-20s I stepped out of a budding career in fashion journalism when I got the opportunity to pursue my life’s fantasy of being a striptease artist. There followed over a decade of disrobing at all sorts of venues and events - from big London clubs to New York private lofts to care homes for people with disabilities. I also taught striptease, wrote about sex, became an activist for sexual rights, modelled, organised events… I won an Erotic Award, attended UK and European Parliament, spoke in the offices of the Mayor of Taipei, and was featured in newspapers.

I took a few years out when I left the London stage and moved to sheep-strewn countryside to marry my twin flame and become a stepmum, but I missed ‘the sexy industries’ terribly. After training as a life coach my route back into that world opened up when someone asked me to coach them around sex. They referenced my past as the reason they felt comfortable to talk to me - “I know you won’t judge or slut-shame me…”.

That was in 2019. I set out to jump straight in to working as a sex coach but had underestimated people’s low knowledge and education level around sex, and their comfort level in talking about it to a coach. It became apparent that education was needed, in a low-cost and accessible way. So I set up Something For The Weekend; a suite of online presentations/webinars on topics such as How To Please A Woman In Bed, Understanding Your Erotic Mind, and Exploring Your Fantasies; and an eight week online course, The Passion8 Programme.

Now I can literally say I have impacted millions of people, as my 2023 TEDx Talk ‘Revamp Your Sex Life In Six Minutes’, has over 2 millions views (being the tenth most watched new TEDx talk of 2023!).

I hope you’ll enjoy my weekly posts full of tips, guidance, new research, self-coaching prompts, occasional juicy stories from my striptease past, and more. Please share what you are learning with others (even better share this Substack!) - we can all play a part in lifting the shame of talking about sex.

Ruth

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