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Um… It’s literally always time to talk about The Vampire Diaries for ME. I know the show hasn’t been on for years, and, realistically, the last time anyone actually cared about it was season six (which came out in 2015), but The Vampire Diaries is eternal to me. I re-watch this show at least once a year. Maybe it’s because this was the first show I was ever truly invested in, maybe it’s because I literally cannot find a single other show that makes me feel in the same way that this one does. Whatever the reason, this show means basically everything to me. And it means a lot to a lot of other people too!! From the OG fans who saw it the first time it came around to those who are just getting into it now, thanks to the magic of Netflix, The Vampire Diaries has a pretty large audience that is still committed to the show today. 

Because of this, it is incredibly shocking to me that there is a pretty glaring lack of new Vampire Diaries content across social media. Like, the pop-culture talking heads dominating socials are still talking about really iconic CW shows from that era of TV, and I find new content for almost every major 2010s TV show damn near every day!! From Gilmore Girls to Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill to 90210, the internet is obsessed with talking about old CW shows. So, by that standard, HOW IS THE VAMPIRE DIARIES NOT STILL A CONVERSATIONAL PIECE ACROSS THE LATE MILLENNIAL/EARLY GEN-Z DEMOGRAPHICS ON SOCIALS??? I honestly don’t know. Shoutout to the TikTok tweens discovering the show now because y’all are creating the content that is holding it down for the fandom (regardless of trash your opinions and interpretations of the show may be). At this point I am personally starved for TVD content. And I think it’s time I take matters into my own hands.

This was all my long-winded rant to introduce my new Pop-Closure series where I talk about The Vampire Diaries. I’m calling it TVD Talk. Fun!

And I’m starting it off with my hottest TVD take that I’m the most passionate about: Stefan Salvatore fucking sucks. And he doesn’t just suck. He’s a literal terrorist. 

I really hate to drag this character like this because I absolutely adore Paul Wesley, who played this absolute trainwreck. (Granted, I’m fairly certain Paul Wesley also hates Stefan, so I don’t feel that bad). But Stefan Salvatore is the worst character to ever exist, and I’m really, really, really upset that the fans of this show ride so hard for him. Here are my reasons for hating this man so, so much. 

We’re starting off heavy, folks! Can’t believe this is the least-worst thing about Stefan on this list, but it is! Finding out that Stefan turned Damon into a vampire after Damon literally begged him not to was probably the nail in the coffin for me on the “I-Hate-Stefan” front. This is actively an egregiously terrible breach of consent on Stefan’s part and really makes all of Stefan’s anger towards Damon for being a resentful vampire very fake and manipulative to me. Like, how are you going to be mad that Damon drinks blood when you are the one that forced him to crave it in the first place?? This is really the genesis of Stefan’s profound malignity as a character. This man truly just wants to see Damon down bad. This moment of betrayal is where Stefan really puts his back into making Damon succumb to his every wish, and he shows us that if Damon isn’t willing to follow his rules, Stefan is more than willing to use force to get what he wants. It’s also the same moment where Damon says “enough is enough” with Stefan’s manipulation. It’s where Stefan solidifies to us an audience that his entire self-sacrificing personality is a sham and a ploy, used by Stefan to vilify Damon as a means of shielding himself from his guilt over being a horrible person. Stefan condemned Damon to a life of suffering and self-hatred through this act, and it’s not even the worst thing he’s ever done to his brother. 

This point comes to mind because Stefan is literally cognitively dissonant throughout the entire series, and this is just the first and probably least-terrible example of this behavior. Let’s think about it: throughout season one of TVD, Stefan berated Damon for his loyalty to Katherine. He told Damon that Katherine never loved either of them, that it was all mind-control and manipulation, and that Damon needed to just get over her. Well, to me, that’s fucking funny, considering that what attracted Stefan to Elena was the fact that she’s Katherine’s literal doppelganger. Literally, how were we supposed to believe that Stefan was over Katherine when he had saved her picture and kept it on his desk for 176 years and then dated her literal doppelganger after stalking that girl for an undisclosed amount of time?? And the craziest part is that Stefan kept saying he fell in love with Elena for her personality while at the same time admitting that he moved back to Mystic Falls specifically for her. So, he was trying to convince us that he loved Elena for who she was on the inside when we knew that he moved back to Mystic Falls before he even met her formally??? And we’re supposed to believe that his decision had absolutely nothing to do with his obsession with Katherine? Okay lmao. Stefan’s hypocrisy with Damon is evident multiple times throughout the series, and this was truly just the beginning.

Let’s be clear on this: Stefan was very aware of his father Giuseppe Salvatore’s abusiveness towards Damon. Giuseppe was a drunkard who hated Damon for being directionless (which was really just code for not wanting to be a confederate soldier, but we’ll discuss that later). He would literally beat Damon in front of Stefan, and Stefan would kind of revel in it?? Which was extremely terrible and fucking weird. Also, remember that time that Stefan stole money from Giuseppe, Damon took the blame for it, and Giuseppe literally burned Damon with a cigarette? Because I do!! Stefan not only turned a blind eye to Giuseppe’s abuse but directly blamed Damon for it on multiple occasions. And yet, Damon was still out here protecting that man. Stefan also always took Giuseppe’s approval of him and his disapproval of Damon as a validating factor, and this inflated Stefan’s sense of moral superiority to Damon. It’s actually very sick that Stefan thought his father’s praise meant that he was the more moral and benevolent brother and ran with that idea until Elena dumped him. Especially when you consider the fact that Giuseppe was a raging alcoholic who was abusive as fuck and also a literal vampire-hating confederate patron and slave owner. Like, on what planet would a stamp of approval from a man like that translate to benevolence??? I really do not know, nor do I understand. 

We’re back with another moment of extreme cognitive dissonance on Stefan’s part! Stefan Salvatore, the brooding, almighty, vegan vampire that we met in episode 1 of season 1, walked around with a huge superiority complex that he weaponized against Damon for his people-blood indulgences. He constantly called Damon a monster, denouncing his actions every time he killed a human (which, by my count, was really only like 22 times throughout the entire series). The way Stefan convinced everyone that he was some pacifist vampire was truly astounding when  you remember that this man was a literal ripper. Stefan had to have killed at least ten thousand people throughout his 176 years of life. It is literally insane that he was so anal about Damon’s killings when he literally slaughtered entire cities. I’m not excusing Damon’s behavior but golly, maybe Stefan shouldn’t have been throwing stones from his big-ass glass house! The mental gymnastics that Stefan had to go through to advocate for his moral superiority episode after episode was truly worthy of an Olympic gold medal. It’s simply unbelievable that Stefan was not painted as some kind of villain after we learned about his backstory because this man effectively manipulated all of the teenagers he was hanging around to berate and abuse Damon and condemn his behavior. Meanwhile, Stefan was walking around with his hero hair done all the way up while sitting on a truly horrific and despicable backstory. 

This one might be *very* contentious because most people assume Damon is the one that’s emotionally manipulative. And Damon definitely is emotionally manipulative to some of his partners throughout the series; I will not deny that! But Stefan is emotionally manipulative to ALL of his romantic partners throughout the show, and his manipulation is much more sinister, in my opinion. Let’s begin with Elena and how he literally withholds so much truth from her to obscure her opinions on both himself and Damon. Stefan literally never reveals to Elena the truth about her doppelganger-ness and that she’s literally Stefan’s ex-girlfriend’s doppelganger. He also waits a long ass time to tell her about his ripper behavior. He also withholds all information about following her around pre-parental slaughter and saving her from the car crash. (We could also argue that he literally let her parents die, which is a little self-servicing to me, but that’s still debatable. I’m putting it out there, though). Also, remember when he said he would let Elena decide whether she wanted him or Damon and that he would support her regardless of her decision and then, when she chose Damon, he said he never wanted to see her again??? Literal terrorism. Anyways, let’s move on to Caroline, aka Stefan’s girl best friend that he consistently took advantage of. Remember how he literally knew Caroline loved him, everyone told him that she was in love with him, and then he continued to lead her on even though he was emotionally unavailable due to his super-obsession with Elena after they broke up? Because I DO!!! Remember how he also weaponized the fact that she was in love with him in order to get her to do menial tasks for him? Yeah. He also used her mom’s literal cancer diagnosis as a means of emotionally manipulating her into being friends with him again after she established a boundary with him (A boundary that she established after he had (very rudely) told her he was not emotionally available after he led her on for half a season!!!) Yeah, Stefan is literally so toxic and emotionally manipulative to all of his romantic partners throughout the show, and I don’t know how any character on that show could have forgiven him for that.

Yeah, this is actively the worst part about the entire series. I literally do not understand how Stefan’s character is supposed to be ~sexy~ considering this man was literally tracking Elena Gilbert for months (if not years, the stalking period is never really explained, but it does seem like it goes on for a very long time) before he ever even spoke to her. The writers seem to allude to the fact that Stefan definitely fell in love with Elena before her parents died, aka the “fun” Elena… and yet he waited until her parents died and she was literally depressed to introduce himself to her. I’m sorry, but this is simply weird as fuck!!! Also, his entire method of wooing her was by being very thoughtful with her. He remembered everything she told him, and he made it a point to explicitly show off all that knowledge to her, which she ate right up. The problem here is that Stefan also flexed a lot of the knowledge he collected on Elena from the time he was stalking her, and she took this as a sign that he was simply perfect for her because he could almost intuit all of her interests and preferences before she revealed them to him. News flash, Elena… he was not perfect for you… this man was LITERALLY JUST USING THE INFORMATION HE HAD ON YOU, FROM STALKING YOU!!! Stefan Salvatore is literally just Joe from You with nicer background music. 

Can we have an honest conversation about how Stefan lowkey rode hard as hell for the confederacy, please? For context, Stefan and Damon died during the midst of the Civil War. The brothers were born in Virginia, and, because of Damon’s age, their father literally forced him into enlisting in the war (as a confederate, obviously). Damon felt extremely guilty fighting in the war, and really only enlisted because his father probably would have killed him if he stayed home (remember how Giuseppe Salvatore was abusive as fuck to Damon?) This is actually a major part of Damon’s story arc, and, throughout the show, it is revealed that Damon was very resistant to fighting as a confederate. He literally couldn’t deal with the war and (side note: what is the appropriate word here? Is it dropped out of war? Can you drop out of war? I don’t know, but I’m going with it!) dropped out of the war, and returned home. What does Stefan have to do with this? HE ACTUALLY BULLIED DAMON FOR DROPPING OUT OF THE CONFEDERACY. The entire time Damon was back from the war, Stefan constantly alluded to Damon being a coward and held Damon’s decision over his head like he was dropping out of Harvard or something. And Stefan literally never let it go. This was a major source of Stefan’s superiority complex over Damon. Stefan literally thought that Damon was weak and had no morals, and every time he discussed why he thought this, it always led back to Damon’s inability to stay in the war and fight. In my opinion, this definitely signals that Stefan is racist, though he never has any major conflicts with any Black characters throughout the show. But man. If you’re out here caping that hard for the confederacy, you have to be at the very least racist. Which is like, very terrible and always fuelled a lot of my hatred for Stefan, mainly because Stefan is constantly posed as this really moral and benevolent guy, while Damon is painted as the bad guy. But our morally-abundant and value-driven Stefan literally hated Damon for dropping out of the confederacy??? Make it make some sense; I am begging.

You know, I am 100% sure that Stefan Salvatore never saw the pearly gates after he died in season 8, and this is probably the moment that put the nail in that coffin. Because Damon explicitly told Stefan not to tell Giuseppe’s evil, abusive, vampire-hating ass about Katherine’s vampireness. Which made a lot of sense, considering Giuseppe was literally on the founder’s council designed to hunt down vampires and was extremely hateful towards Damon, so it really tracks that Giuseppe would kill that bitch on sight once he found out about her truth. And guess what Stefan’s evil ass went and did? HE TOLD GIUSEPPE. WHO THEN WENT AND KILLED KATHERINE (to their knowledge). And, on top of that, Damon went to go save Katherine, and then Giuseppe killed Damon. AND STEFAN!!! Like damn, how could you be so hateful towards your brother that you wholly risk getting your girl and yourself murdered by your evil ass father?! Stefan and Damon allegedly were both in love with Katherine Pierce, but Stefan’s pettiness towards Damon got that bitch got, so did he ever really love her? Or did he just like her attention and want to ruin Damon’s life? Because damn. Damon was always looking out for Stefan, even when this man didn’t deserve it. And the one time Damon begged Stefan to choose him over their evil father, Stefan chose their evil father. And that ruined all of their lives. Yeah, Stefan went ahead and killed Giuseppe after becoming a vampire, but it was more rooted in Giuseppe’s audacity for killing him, too, than any means of seeking vengeance for what he did to Damon. Stefan getting himself, Damon, and Katherine killed was rooted in his superiority complex with Damon and his constant obsession with knowing more than his older brother. And instead of learning something from this tragedy, he just kept developing that superiority complex until it cost him everything. In the words of Tyra Banks: Stefan Salvatore, HOW DARE YOU?!

This right here is simply an undebatable fact. Stefan Salvatore literally ruined Elena’s life. His selfish, stalker ass didn’t have to come into her life. He could’ve just admired her from afar. He could’ve left her alone. Stefan is responsible for all of the deaths of the people that came after his arrival in Mystic Falls. I mean, really think about it: Damon would have never killed Vicki, Jenna would still be alive, Jon would still be alive, Elena probably would have never found out about Isobel, Caroline would probably still be human, Elena probably would have never become a vampire… You see where I’m going with this? Now, some of you may say, “but he made her feel alive when she was numb.” And, to that I say, did he really though? Elena was really grappling with some heavy ass survivor’s guilt at the beginning of the show, and as more and more people either died or became vampires, that guilt got worse and worse. And, realistically, I think with a little therapy, and some time at college, she would’ve been a bit better off than with all the shit that happened to her.  Some of you reading this may say, “but didn’t he save her from that car crash?” And I mean, I guess? But also, who’s to say whether or not that would have happened if he had never stalked her? This show is really sad when you think about it because Elena never truly grew as a character. She was grappling with the survivor’s guilt the whole way through. She also never really got to experience happiness outside of her relationship with Damon, who also had his life ruined by Stefan, which is really sad to me. Elena had been emotionally manipulated by Stefan’s selfish ass, became really codependent, and relied on him for basically all of her sanity and comfort, and then he let her become a vampire (because he felt like saving Matt that day), AND THEN HE BECAME DISGUSTED BY HER AS A VAMPIRE AND TRIED TO MANIPULATE HER INTO BECOMING HUMAN AGAIN!!! Stefan is literally the textbook example of an abusive boyfriend. When you add in all the stalking, manipulation, hot-and-cold cycles, AND his tirades after she chose Damon over him, you quickly realize that Stefan Salvatore ruined that little 15-year old girl’s life. Yes, Elena got a happy ending with Damon and Stefan died, but literally anything else would have been criminal given all the harm he caused them both.

These are just a few reasons to explain all the ways I hate Stefan Salvatore.  While I love The Vampire Diaries to death, I will never forgive any of y’all Stelena shippers for the harm y’all inflicted on every damn character in this show in the name of defending that mongrel!!! Thank you, Julie Plec, for giving that man exactly what he deserved in the end: D-E-A-T-H! Permanently, baby! 

Also, thank you to Paul Wesley for being hot enough to make Stefan bearable enough for me to power through the entire show. 

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