PicoBlog

Every so often a list of the stupidest reasons people have called 911 appears in publications like People or on Buzzfeed. Anything from accidental butt dials by criminals in the midst of their criminality to people upset that their fast food orders either weren’t prepared the way they requested or, horror of horrors, a particular McDonald’s franchise ran out of a certain chicken nugget sauce. Even Joe McCain, brother to presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain, called 911 to complain about traffic.

But a more recent call to 911 made the news while I was helping my parents after my stepmom fell and broke her other hip. Because I clearly had more important things on my mind, I didn’t keep up with pro-Palestinian protests at Vanderbilt University.

Yet another group of elite university students made demands. This time it was to amend the Vanderbilt Student Government Constitution in order to cancel any student government monies to businesses supporting Israel. The Vanderbilt administration balked, and many students went ballistic.

According to reports from The Tennessean, about 20 students staged a sit-in within the administrative building, Kirkland Hall, where the chancellor’s office is. Another ever changing 30 students sat on its steps, scheduling their protest around their class schedule like a game of tag.

The protest lasted less than 24-hours, and, as of late yesterday, Vanderbilt announced the expulsion of three students, one suspension, and nearly two dozen who will be on probation. Though the overall contention of students was that this was a peaceful protest, three students were involved in assault and one was involved in vandalism. We can assume these are the students expelled and suspended.

Vanderbilt, of course, prides itself on freedom of speech and expression. But certain protesters went a bit too far. And once again we see that these liberal “make peace not war” sentiments go out the window when students view Hamas as the victim not the aggressor.

One student that was arrested for being in Kirkland Hall went to X, formerly Twitter, to vent about his treatment at Vanderbilt. Remember, these students volunteered to protest for a cause near and dear to them. They are true warriors as can easily be understood by an unnamed student’s statement regarding his mistreatment:

“I was one of the students arrested inside of Kirkland Hall…Again, as people have said, for 21 hours we were deprived of medical attention, we were deprived of sleep, we were deprived of food, water, resources. And at 5 o’clock in the morning, I got a pat on the back, was told to stand up, was handcuffed, and I was escorted out of my own university. I was not told where I was going. I was not told what I was charged with. It was disgusting that this is how they treat student protesters on this campus.”

He then goes on to say that he was treated better in jail where he was able to see friends, get water, and use the bathroom. I’m sure there will be a new course coming next semester entitled Student Protesting 101, which will teach about true protesters like Gandhi who led a group of thousands on a 240 mile march to the sea to protest the British colonial restrictions placed on Indians from producing and selling their own salt. This journey lasted 24 days not hours. They too were jailed for defying the British. If anyone whined, none of us would know. In 1930, there was no social media.

Needless to say, none of these campus student protesters have ever learned how to think for themselves to prepare for a sit-in. Where were their Yetis filled with Fiji water and bento boxes with organic hummus and pita chips? Moreover, if students outside had the ability to go to class and find stand-ins for them on the steps of Kirkland Hall, couldn’t any of them buy water and Chipotle for their friends? These privileged kids believed that Vanderbilt should not only allow a protest but administration should provide them sleeping bags, menus, water, and medical attention.

To be clear, no one died at this brief, inconsequential protest. So, what medical attention became an emergency? A young woman called 911 to report that her friend had no place to change her tampon, which, as you know, is a medical emergency because she could get toxic shock syndrome.

To be honest, I didn’t think Palestinian women would be allowed to wear tampons. Tampon usage could deem women unclean and label women whores by Muslim men. Why would I believe such Stone Age thoughts?

New York just paid over $17 million in a settlement because they told arrested Muslim women to remove their hijabs before taking their mugshots. According to The Guardian, not only did the women feel trauma, but “[t]heir lawyers likened removing the hijabs to being strip-searched.” If I remember correctly, a hijab is a head covering. Seriously, strip searching is not the same as removing a head covering.

So, those protesting without a gun to their head called 911 because bathroom facilities were not made available to them to change their tampons; and, I guarantee another lawsuit is coming against police for not responding to this 911 call.

These students are our best and brightest, but they can’t figure out that their 21-hour protest will require any minute sacrifice on their part nor can they prepare for any uncertainties that may arise. Most partying, drunk college students have had to urinate on a bush at one time or another. Young women run in packs. They usually stand together as a screen while their friend does her business. Apparently, only non-elite college students can figure out things like this.

Here’s an idea that would end all of this madness: If you stand with Hamas, join their war instead of meaningless protests. Fly to Gaza. More than fifty Vanderbilt students certainly sound ready to become soldiers. Our elite students used to cushy lives will make it easier for Israel to win this conflict that Hamas started.

I don’t think Hamas would put up with this: “Excuse me, Mr. Yahya Sinwar, I’d really like to fight, but I have to change my tampon and there’s no bathroom, I haven’t slept, and you are not providing me enough food and water. I think, I’ll sit this battle out until my needs are met.” No, our freedom fighters would be the first human shields used by Hamas thus saving us all from further embarrassment.

Goldie Hawn was ahead of her time with the movie Private Benjamin. Perhaps these students who stand with Hamas should watch it sometime. Better yet, we need to demand that all eighteen-year-olds serve two years in a branch of our military before attending college. Boot camp alone will be eye opening for the pompous asses that were spawned.

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