That Damn Nun Returns to Ruin My Life

If you’ve been an SOS subscriber from the beginning, you know about my beef with Valak, the demonic nun that made its first appearance in The Conjuring 2 before getting a spin-off prequel with The Nun in 2018. Five years later, Valak is back in The Nun 2, which came out this fall.

Pete and I recently devoted a weekend to catch up on recently released horror movies, including The Nun 2, and I can confirm: VALAK STILL SCARES THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF ME.

Again, I wasn’t raised in a religious household; besides weddings, funerals, and the occasional Christmas and/or Easter service, we did not regularly attend church; I have never had an unpleasant experience with a nun. I don’t know why this character instills such fear in me, but I think my reaction is a testament to the character’s undeniable popularity and swift rise to modern horror icon status. I think I speak for many of us horror aficionados when I say that Valak’s impact on modern horror would not exist without the unique and outstanding performance brought by genre veteran Bonnie Aarons, the actress who plays the demon in its nun form.

(This absolute queen is no stranger to spooking audiences. Remember that horrifying “bum” that pops out from behind the diner in Mulholland Drive? Yes, that was Ms. Bonnie Aarons. Few can boast that their very brief appearance on screen resulted in one of the most-memorable moments in cinema history. Aarons and that gorgeous and unique face of hers have gone on to appear in many other roles—from Annabelle: Creation to The Princess Diaries. RANGE, HENNY.)

Without further ado, let’s get into The Nun 2 and the other movies I’ve watched recently that almost made me install a floodlight on each wall of my bedroom.

(No spoilers, by the way!)

1. The Nun 2

Let me start by saying that I enjoyed this movie. Now, I know some—maybe even most, given its poor ratings on sites like Rotten Tomatoes—horror lovers will scoff when I say this, but I actually liked the first Nun, too. I have plenty of notes, of course, but I thought it was a commendable effort at trying to dig into the rich history of this character. My biggest issues were with the narrative progression and pacing on the whole—some characters also skewed singular dimensionality—but I digress.

There were a few moments in The Nun 2, especially in the beginning, that made me clutch onto Petey like a barnacle on a whale, but overall, this movie didn’t terrify me as much as the first one or The Conjuring 2 did, the latter of which had me sleeping with the lights on for two weeks. (Not hyperbole for once. Facts!)

However, if I had to compare the two, I would say this spin-off comes out on top. It’s well-constructed and I applaud some of the risks taken with some of the creative choices. Most of all, I appreciate how much more fully realized Valak is. Where the first installment fell short, I think the second improves greatly on plunging deeper into this demon’s terrifying, yet fascinating, background and motives. The stakes are also higher, which in turn, elevates the writing and performances.

VALAK FOREVER—FEAR-INDUCING DIARRHEA AND ALL.

2. Talk to Me

Probably one of the most-hyped movies of 2023, Talk to Me had me by the throat ever since I watched the trailer for it earlier this year. It was so disturbing that, when I put it on in my family’s living room, with my parents and brother in it, my brother got up and left within the first twenty minutes, and my parents showered me with gratitude when I told them I’d go watch it on my computer upstairs by myself after that scene with the dog. IYKYK.

(My dad leaned over and whispered, “What is this?” into my mom’s ear, and she responded with, “Gregory likes to watch these kinds of movies to relax.” My dad hasn’t made eye contact with me since????????)

I fucking loved this movie. It puts its own unique spin on the bunch-of-teens-get-involved-with-the-supernatural trope, and I appreciate the powerful metaphors tucked into the narrative as opposed to being heavy-handed and in your face like they are in some other films whose messages get diluted in their delivery. The writing and performances are A++++++++++++ and Miranda Otto could run my foot over with a GMC Yukon and I’d thank her.

I haven’t heard a single negative thing about this movie—go see it. Just make sure you’re watching it with folks who can stomach gore and won’t request a wellness check on you for picking this movie as your choice to watch!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Insidious: The Last Key

The fourth installment in the Insidious franchise, this movie tells the backstory of one of my favorite characters of all time: Elise Rainier. Played by Lin Shaye, this beloved parapsychologist won my heart ever since we met her in the first Insidious. By the way, every single one of these movies is horrifying, and I know plenty of folks who refuse to watch any of them, even when I offer to watch with them! I can confirm: they are that scary.

This movie came out in 2018, but I realized that Pete and I had never seen it, so before we hit Play on Insidious: The Red Door, which came out this year, we had to catch up. As usual, I watched ninety-percent of this movie through my fingers because the scares are more potent than smelling salts. But I’m delighted that we finally get to learn more about Elise as she investigates a haunting in her childhood home.

I was also endeared with the message about family, both blood and chosen. I was actually brought to tears at the end, because while the frights are delivered in spades, the family unit formed between Elise and her two colleagues (who also serve as comedic relief), Specs (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson), rendered my pounding heart into a full one.

4. Insidious: The Red Door

Taking place nine years after the occurrences in the first Insidious, the final chapter of the Lambert family’s terrifying saga ventures deeper into The Further than ever before. Dalton (Ty Simpkins), now a freshman in college, and his father, Josh (Patrick Wilson), grapple with their repressed memories from Dalton’s possession nine years prior, as the nightmarish memories slowly unravel and come back to haunt them. They are forced to confront their literal and metaphorical demons, and in doing so, work to repair their strained relationship.

Given the fear factor of its predecessors, I approached this movie ready to shit my pants and Pete’s, but I wasn’t left shaking under the covers like I was with the previous installments. That’s not to say I was disappointed; I just think the bar was so high in this regard that anything that didn’t elicit me jumping fifteen feet in the air was pretty easily metabolized by me. Of course, there were moments that made me yelp, but if you’re looking to never sleep again, watch the first two.

What did disappoint me, though, was how Renai Lambert, played by the gift that keeps on giving, Rose Byrne, was relegated to a supporting role. I don’t have a problem with the lack of screen time as much as I have a problem with how this limited screen time was utilized. You can be on screen for a few seconds and still make a lasting impression (see: Bonnie Aarons and her brief, but indelible, appearance in Mulholland Drive). It’s also totally possible that Byrne’s schedule and commitment to other projects forced producers to tailor the role to accommodate the actor’s availability, but even so, her role could have been written in a more meaningful and impactful way.

Still, I recommend giving this one a watch! It’s worth it for Sinclair Daniel’s role alone.

5. The Boogeyman

This one was recommended to me by my other bestie, Tara, who texted me the trailer one day and I hit Play on this movie that night.

BITTTTTCCCCHHHHHHHHH.

When I tell you I sweat through, like, four layers of clothing. This movie kept me on the edge of my seat for the entire duration of it. Sadie Harper (Sophie Thatcher) and her younger sister, Sawyer (Vivien Lyra Blair), are struggling to cope with the tragic death of their mother and getting support from their absentee father, Will (Chris Messina), a therapist whose grief results in parental neglect. One day, a very desperate patient shows up at Will’s door seeking help, and Will agrees to see him in his home office, but not before a terrifying entity that preys on people’s grief and suffering is released and begins to torment the Harper family.

(“Terrifying” is putting it gently, by the way. It lurks in the shadows, and you only see flashes of what it truly looks like, but those glimpses are enough to make you want to knock back a shot of holy water.)

The messages on grief and trauma are very much unequivocal, and not as profoundly indirect like they are in Talk to Me, but they resonate all the same—the darkness of loss will consume us if we let it, but if we expose ourselves by looking inward and learn to lean on each other, we let in the light.

***

As always, recommendations for movies that will spook me to hell and back are always welcome. Pop off in the comments with your suggestions!

Happy Halloween, cherished girls, gays, and ghouls. <3

Delta Gatti

Update: 2024-12-02

PicoBlog

That Damn Nun Returns to Ruin My Life

Delta Gatti

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