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The Best Way Out is Always Through

I read a lot of creative writing and especially poetry.  It helps with dry spells and also hones my writing skills by observing what it is about certain authors that strikes a chord with me.  I studied a lot of poets in my high school and university classes and I’ve recently begun to revisit some of them.  One of my all-time favorites is Robert Frost. 

Frost is one of the best-loved American poets.  His writing style appeals to me because he had keen insight into human life.  He was a resident of rural New England and that is reflected in poems like “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening”.  His poetry wasn’t initially embraced, but he eventually became one of the most popular poets of his time and won four Pulitzer prizes for poetry.  At the age of 86, Frost read one of his well-known poems, “The Gift Outright” at the inauguration of U.S. President John Fitzgerald Kennedy in 1961.  He even received a Congressional Gold Medal in recognition of his poetry at the age of 87. 

Photo Credit: Literary Hub

But all the recognition and accolades came near the end of a life filled with pain, grief and loss.  His father died when he was 11 at which time his family was left with eight dollars.  His mother died of cancer in his late 20’s.  His sister was committed to a mental hospital and died soon after.  Frost himself suffered from depression as did his wife, Elinor.  Their oldest daughter was committed to a mental hospital, their son Elliot died of cholera, daughter Carol committed suicide, and daughter Marjorie died from some unknown fever.  They lost another daughter, Elinor, only three days after her birth.  Having lost a child myself, I can’t imagine surviving all that tragedy, let alone being able to write in a way that still conveyed hope and inspired so many. 

In spite of the difficulties and grief he endured, Frost was known to say “The best way out is always through”.  Frost came to understand, as many of us do, that going THROUGH the dark times, sorrow and depression instead of trying to go AROUND them was the best avenue.  He figured out that by going THROUGH, you learn important lessons and gain valuable experience that help us as humans to navigate the mountains and valleys of life.  His poetry reflects his resolve to “go through”. 

If we live long enough, we all have our share of loss and hard things.  I’ve had enough in my life to come to understand that you can’t avoid or skirt around all the feelings that are attached to those experiences.  We have to go THROUGH them and allow ourselves to wholly embrace whatever feelings come while we traverse those journeys.  Take whatever time is needed to work through the feelings. But if I have a personal recommendation, don’t live there too long.  Don’t become consumed with the feelings such that there is not hope and moving forward.  Those feelings won’t suddenly go away.  Let yourself embrace them as they rise to the surface.  Then step forward again.  If Robert Frost was able to keep stepping forward, I think we all can. 

I thought I’d share one of Frost’s lesser known winter poems.  There’s a bit of melancholy revealed as he views the falling snow.  I believe Robert Frost often wrote straight from his heart and that’s what makes his writing most appealing.

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Desert Places Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast In a field I looked into going past, And the ground almost covered smooth in snow, But a few weeds and stubble showing last. The woods around it have it - it is theirs. All animals are smothered in their lairs. I am too absent-spirited to count; The loneliness includes me unawares. And lonely as it is, that loneliness Will be more lonely ere it will be less - A blanker whiteness of benighted snow WIth no expression, nothing to express. They cannot scare me with their empty spaces Between stars - on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home To scare myself with my own desert places. 

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Lynna Burgamy

Update: 2024-12-02