PicoBlog

After what felt like 30 years (14 in actuality), Incredibles 2 finally released. And my goodness it was amazing. Picking up right where the first movie left off, we see the Parr family battle the Underminer (such a stupid name), with the ever looming illegal status of their superpowers coming to bit them in the butt. When the battle results in millions of dollars in property damage, our resident superhero family is forced to go into hiding once again. When things look bleak, an idealistic millionaire with an affliction for Supers (superheroes) wants to make them legal again. He then enlists Elastigirl to be the face of the Supers, and the movie continues. I don't want to spoil it. Go watch it.

One important development in Incredibles 2 was that there were more Supers in hiding, waiting for the chance to be accepted by the world. That means that we get a whole new bag of Supers to marvel at. With all of the new characters, I've decided to rank all of the Supers from Incredibles 2 in terms of their powers and their ability to save the day, because in the end that is what a superhero is supposed to do.

Here's all the new Supers, from left to right: Screech, He-Lectrix, Reflux, Brick, Krushhauer, Voyd

This senior citizen may have had the most disgusting power out of anyone I had ever seen from any superhero from any superhero movie ever. One of his lines from the movie is very indicative of the very nature of his power. He said to Elastigirl, "Is it a superpower or a condition, who's to say?" His power is a literal digestive issue that affects more than 3 million people per year. He...well he vomits out molten lava at his enemies, which melts anything and everything on contact. The only thing that it can do is melt through materials and make people sick to their stomach. He could plausibly be defeated by an antacid, so there is that.

This glorified Tootsie Pop owl has 4 features: (1) has huge eyes, (2) can rotate his head 360 degrees, (3) can fly using makeshift wings, (4) uses a high-pitched screech to break glass at any thickness. He is somewhat horrifying to look at, meaning that if he is trying to save someone or break them out, their horrified screams once they see him would alert the bad guys of their position. But the ability to fly is pretty cool, one that others don't have in the movie. But that is pretty much it. *

*Also the name, total rip off from Saved By the Bell. That Screech was way better.

One of two named Black characters that we see in this movie, Krushhauer is blessed with the power of telekinesis. But it only goes one way. He can only crush metal and bend it out of shape. He apparently does not have the capacity to reverse the effects of his power. So say he messes up and crushes something important, he is unable to fix it. His power is cool, but there is no reset button for his actions.

This fellow right here can shoot lightning and summon electricity. His power is more of an offensive and aggressive power. His ranking above the bottom three is solely because of how awesome it is to shoot lightning out of his fingertips. The power is kind of useless in terms of saving people, but it is way cooler than the trio at the bottom.

Coming in as the only human to be bigger and stronger than Mr. Incredible, she is an imposing figure who is able to dominate any situation she is in. Her usefulness is in the same realm of Mr. Incredible's, where her brawn is her supreme attribute. Compared to the patriarch of the Parr family, she is less agile, maybe limiting her in quick reaction situations. However, her amazing strength will serve her well in most situations.

*This name was also bitten from a far superior version, Brick from Modern Family.

If we get down to it, he is really just a faster, smarter version of Brick. He is historically one of the greatest superheroes in the Incredibles universe. But goodness, is he a one trick pony. Strength can only get you so far. He is a much better hero when he works in concerto with his family. When he works alone, he can save the day, but there are often millions of dollars of property damage and lawsuits left behind. There ever impending likelihood of him downing a building in the midst of a battle puts him lower on this list.

Have you ever played the game 'Portal'? If you haven't, here is a rundown. It is a puzzle game in which your character can create inter-spatial portals to travel through in order to solve various puzzles. The portals are created via portal gun and can only be made on flat surfaces. Voyd is basically just a human puzzle gun that can create a two connecting portals at any point. It is perfect for a situation when you have to transport people to safety very quickly. It is also amazingly useful when you have to surprise a villain with sneak attack.

As one of the fastest beings in the universe/world (if you're wondering here is the ranking of fastest beings, in order: Sonic, Roadrunner from the Looney Tunes, the Flash from the DC universe, Speedy Gonzalez from the Looney Tunes, Dash, and Superman), Dash has a top-tier superpower. As every coach in any sport will tell you, you can't teach speed. The eldest son of the Parr family possesses a game changing attribute that is applicable in any situation.

Could you imagine battling adolescence whilst also trying to make sense of your growing superpowers? Couldn't be me. Violet's ability to produce force-fields at will makes her an invaluable asset on the in a battle. She has the ability to protect herself and others makes her indispensable. She can also throw her force-fields at villains, which is insane. Imagine getting hit by an arc of pure energy. Wild. Another useful part of her powers is that she can turn invisible. You can't hit what you can't see.

First off, having the voice of Samuel L. Jackson is a superpower alone. That alone puts him in the top 3. But his ability to apparently eject endless amounts of ice from the his hands also makes him deserving of a top spot. Ice is an underrated form of water. IT SUNK THE TITANIC. All Frozone needs is a drink of water and he can stop cars and giant killing machines in their tracks. He is also Black, and the movie is set in 1962, and he isn't accosted by the police once in the second movie, so extra points for that.

There is a reason that Elastigirl was chosen to be the face of the Super revival. With an astronomical level of elasticity, she is able to reach anywhere on command. According to the Incredibles Fan Wiki, she can extend her limbs for up to 30 meters and stretch and deform her body to any shape. If you're free-falling from 30,000 feet up, she can turn into a parachute and float herself and you down to safety. There seems to be no level of pain that she can't withstand. Her form saving people is also a lot cleaner than Mr. Incredible's, reducing potential damage to others and property.

I'm just going to list off a bunch of powers that this baby has: (1) laser vision, (2) levitation, (3) able to walk through solid matter, (4) shapeshifting into a full-on demon baby, (5) self-combustion, (6) teleportation through multiple dimensions. This baby is pretty much an indestructible, walking death machine. He's like the Swiss Army Knife of superpowers. Once Jack Jack began to control his powers a little more, he became an unstoppable force. I am 100% sure if any villain or superhero for that matter tried to go against Jack Jack, they would lose. I will say it now, Jack Jack would beat Thanos.

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