PicoBlog

This is a monumental episode of America’s Next Top Model, maybe the most famous one ever. The title tells us what’s coming.

Tiffany is struggling to fit in with model life and to get through the different challenges. At a restaurant, tuna tartare, calamari and cappuccino all overwhelm her.

The models get a lesson in acting from Larry Moss. He keeps switching his accents, so I can’t tell if he’s really British or American.

Larry teaches the models a cockney accent, and they have to memorize lines in that accent overnight.

The next day, they do a scene with Boris Kodjoe, actor and model who’s apparently German although he has no trace of an accent.

You can buy this Boris shirt for $25 if you want.

The costumes are provided for this challenge and they are rough.

In an unexpected revelation, Michelle apparently took four years of drama in school. It is not on brand for her at all.

But, it’s Naima who wins the challenge. She chooses Michelle and Tatianna to share $10,000 worth of diamonds.

They go to what looks like the set of a Spy Kids movie to get the jewelry.

Because she’s over everything, Tiffany doesn’t even want to get up to listen to the Tyra Mail.

For this week’s photoshoot, Mr. J tells the models they’re wearing “amazing bras from WonderBra”. And they’ll be modeling with the very sexy male model named Rib.

According to his Wikipedia page, “he is best known for playing Hamilton (‘Hamm’) in the film Sharktopus vs. Pteraconda”.

Rebecca’s stressed going into the photoshoot because the judges have been hard on her ass not getting better photos. This week she’s nervous because she’s an engaged lady.

The photoshoots for some of them is straight up porn.

And I don’t like how McRib keeps grabbing Tiffany’s face like this:

For their challenge at panel, they have to read from a teleprompter, and contrary to George W. Bush, some children were left behind. A lot of them struggle to pronounce “magenta”

And “chic”.

Tiffany begins reading and mentally shuts down. You can tell she feels uncomfortable reading out loud in front of people. I don’t know where that comes from, but it’s hard to watch. Tyra tells her if she doesn’t do the challenge, she’ll go home. In my opinion, it’s not the best approach to scare someone who’s obviously nervous, but it was reality TV in the 2000s.

Tiffany messes up but her voice is great and she has a lot of personality while reading. The judges clap, but she mumbles to herself while walking off.

I get it. Moments like this are peak cringe to watch.

My favorite photo is by far Michelle’s.

The rest aren’t really great.

Here’s my best photo. It’s me on Shonnette’s bed pillow-fighting with myself. I’m wearing an A-shirt pulled halfway up because I was self conscious about my body hair. If only I knew the places and colors I’d find hair now…

While the judges are deliberating, they hint that the models need a wakeup call because they’ve gotten complacent. Hint hint foreshadowing.

The bottom two are Tiffany and Rebecca. Tyra gives her typical long speech on what both of them are lacking. But when she pulls out the final photo…

It’s blank. It’s a double elimination!

Rebecca and Tiffany say their goodbyes to the other models. Tiffany’s not super emotional. She’s kind of laughing it off and telling the others not to cry for her. Tyra is not having it. She pulls Tiffany back and launches into the now famous “We were all rooting for you” rant.

I didn’t find Tiffany’s reaction or attitude during the season that off-putting. Of course, it’s edited TV, so we don’t see the whole story. But, Tyra’s reaction does seem over the top now.

As for this double elimination, why? I don’t think either model was that terrible that they had to get rid of both right away. I wonder if the show planned it for drama or it was a spur-of-the-moment decision.

After fainting on camera and having her modeling dreams crushed but overshadowed by someone else, Rebecca has gone on to marry her fiancé and do some modeling. It appears very commercial.

And we do not seem to have found the right hairstyle yet.

Tiffany has had a resurgence in popularity since this Buzzfeed story came out in 2017. This type of story is why I went to journalism school. It’s worth the read, so I won’t try to paraphrase it. Tiffany talks a lot about her storyline on the show and this sums up both her and my feelings about Top Model.

Tiffany also spoke on this Top Model mini documentary that came out on Hulu (it also has Keenyah).

She’s taken photos here and there but seems to be working and living her life outside of fashion and tuna tartare.

I love this photo of her.

Go on, Becky and Tiffany!

Thanks for reading and I hope to see you back here for Cycle 4, Episode 8. If you’re not already, be sure to subscribe to get added to my newsletter.

Fierce and love,

P

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