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(Evening Standard)

A few years ago, there was a meme where people would respond to someone seemingly bland or uninteresting receiving incredible success or good fortune with this gif from Fox’s “Arrested Development”:

For me, the first person who comes to mind with this gif always is English woman Krissy Findlay, better known by her married name Krissy Wood. Nothing against her, as it appears she was a decent person, albeit with some depressing moments. But to me, I’ve always been a little baffled by how sought after Krissy was in the music community during the 1960s and 1970s. Her second surname belongs to classic rocker Ronnie Wood, initially of the British Invasion bands the Jeff Beck Group and the Faces, but now primarily known as the second guitarist for the Rolling Stones. Krissy and Ronnie go way back to 1964, when both were just out of school and about to embark on Swingin’ London. [And boy, did they take the ‘swinging’ part to heart.] But Krissy actually already had her first musician fling right before Ronnie, with another local teenager named Eric Clapton, who would of course go on to similar fame as his fellow guitarist. Krissy seems like one of those ordinary girls who just happened to be in the right place at the right time [i.e. something we all wish we could be]. Unlike rock girlfriends Pattie Boyd, Rosanna Arquette or Marianne Faithfull, Krissy wasn’t a celebrity as a model, actress or music artist, and was mostly famous because of her relationships. Some sources will identify her as a ‘former model,’ but I think they might be mistaking her for Ronnie’s second wife Jo Karslake. You can’t really call Krissy a groupie though, since she was serious enough with these guys away from the shows, but it’s also hard to call her a celeb.

In a way, the dirty blonde is more along the lines of a rock wife like Cynthia Lennon or Phyllis Nesmith. Since the Woods got together when they were teens, Krissy was essentially a fulltime socialite as her husband’s date and plus-one to events and gatherings. On the surface, the couple probably sound like they might have had a nice, normal marriage. But in reality, they were big fans of key parties, wife swapping, nude love-ins and pretty much every cliché in the free love handbook. Fortunately for Ronnie and Krissy, their famous male musician friends like George Harrison, John Lennon and Jimmy Page were cool with this development too. The guys’ ladies though, not so often. In both Ronnie’s 2007 memoir Ronnie: The Autobiography and Pattie Boyd’s own 2007 book Wonderful Tonight, the two go into detail about how George and Krissy went on vacation abroad for a few weeks in early 1973 while Ronnie and Pattie stayed behind at the Harrison estate. Only in the ‘70s.

(via rocksoffmag.com)

Not much later, Krissy also had a brief adventure with George’s Beatles bandmate John Lennon during the latter’s infamous ‘Lost Weekend’ in Los Angeles. The highlights of this dalliance were John’s amusing bad habit of mistakenly calling Krissy ‘Pattie,’ and Krissy escaping death when record producer Phil Spector whipped out one of his guns while arguing with John. Once her time in LA was over, Krissy reunited with her husband in New York City in 1974. The couple were hoping for another swap, this time with Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page and longterm model girlfriend Charlotte Martin. All were on board, except for Charlotte, who instantly stormed out of the NYC hotel room once she clued in on what was going on. Back in London, Jimmy and Charlotte go on a break for a year while the guitar wizard and Krissy carried on an affair. Needless to say, it’s not particularly shocking all of these relationships ended by the 1980s.

What’s baffling to me is that George, John and Jimmy were instantly willing to step away from their significant others for Krissy, as if she were some sort of goddess or princess. When in reality it sounds like she was just an ordinary woman. I just…don’t get it? Who knows, maybe she had an exceptional personality we couldn’t witness. There’s also getting a thrill out of something you’re not supposed be doing a la affairs and wife swapping; which might have made her appealing to the famous men.

The other ‘60s/‘70s occurrences the Woods were familiar with were addiction and hard partying. Though Ronnie is still with us, it took him until 2011 to become completely sober, but poor Krissy passed from a valium overdose in 2005 while also dealing with money problems. Their one child, son Jesse [b. 1976], also struggled with substance issues, but fortunately got it together enough to start a family in the early 2000s. What’s the moral of the story here? Honestly, I’m not sure. I guess that fame really is fickle at the end of the day. Krissy wasn’t successful or talented in her own right, but she did take full advantage of her connections. Sure, I am little jealous she got to be involved with my two favorite Beatles and my Zeppelin crush. She’ll probably have a more fascinating personal life than I ever will. But in the end, was it worth it?

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