PicoBlog

“Currently Consuming” is a regular series I plan to write about what I’m watching, reading, listening to, etc. But let’s be honest— mostly watching. In my past mommy blogging life, the only shows/movies I ever wrote about were G rated, so I’m excited to write about stuff that isn’t animated by Pixar. Although, I have to say, those Pixar movies are a hell of a lot better than the crap I am currently watching.

I got sucked into Manifest a few week ago because it was trending on Netflix. Thanks to a few especially late nights and stupidly early mornings (this is life in your 40s), I just finished the second season. Currently, Manifest is #1 on Netflix, so I know I am not alone. And judging by the countless messages I have received since I started talking about my love/hate relationship with the show on Instagram, everyone is equally confounded about why we are all so obsessed with a show that is an absolute train wreck. Or should I say…plane wreck?

Manifest is about a plane that disappears, is presumed to have crashed and then suddenly lands with passengers unscathed. For the people on the plane, no time has passed, but for everyone else, it’s five years later. It’s a great premise and a great title (Manifest represents both the list of passengers on Flight 828 and the weird religious dogma the passengers adopt about their destiny) but the writing, the acting and the plot lines are…. ummm… how do I say this gently? SO BAD. If you are someone who works on the show (I have heard from at least two people who fit this description), please do not take offense. You have created something so magically awful that none of us can look away. That is it’s own special gift.

Someone described Manifest to me as Lost, if it was produced by the Hallmark Channel. There could not be a more accurate description. There is an earnestness about the show that seems to come directly from the This is Us school of acting. There is also a heaping dose of religious overtones that I can’t quite place, which make me wonder if the show is actually Christian propaganda. Or maybe it’s anti-Christian propaganda? I’m Jewish so I don’t know enough about the New Testament to tell. The experience reminds me of when my kids started watching Veggie Tales as toddlers. It took me a few weeks before I realized the carrots and tomatoes were actually teaching lessons from the bible. Wait. Are my babies being entertained or indoctrinated?

All of this could be okay if the show was just a little bit clever. Remember how the early episodes of Lost would each take you on a ride that ended perfectly with an inevitable conclusion that somehow you didn’t see coming? Manifest is not Lost. You see the endings coming from a mile away. And in the moments when Manifest catches you by surprise, it’s because the plot lines are completely batshit. The writing on Manifest feels more like Q-Anon conspiracy theory, where loosely linked symbols masquerade as major epiphanies.

A typical Manifest plot line goes something like this… A character or several characters will have a vision of the future or clues to a future event. They call these visions “callings.” Throughout the episode, the characters try to decipher what “the calling” is trying to tell them. Then at some point all the pieces come together to explain “the calling” (if you think I am saying “calling” a lot, it’s because they say it incessantly on the show) and then the characters act their hearts out to pretend like they are geniuses for solving this Davinci-Code-like puzzle, when any person with a brain can plainly see that the pieces are only linked because the writers say they are.

Here is how Manifest logic works: A character has a vision of a peacock. His wife remembers that five years ago, their daughter got a peacock on a tarot card reading. She finds the peacock card in a drawer (because she saved the card all these years, obviously) and sees there is the number two in the corner. They have two kids. One of them must be in trouble! A peacock is a bird. A Blue Jay is also a bird. Jay is the first letter of Jared, Makayla’s finance. Jared just got a new buzz cut. Buzz Aldrin is a former astronaut. The plane must have been stuck in space for the last five years!

I mean, that’s not exactly how it works, but it’s close. The fact that the clues and connections are so tenuous, yet the characters believe in them with such laughable certainty, repeatedly expressing the importance of following “the callings,” makes you wonder if the writers think the audience is stupid or if they are in on the joke? Like yes, the peacock did ultimately lead them to save someone from being buried alive in a burning building, and had that happened in real life, it would be quite spectacular. But as a plot line pulled out of thin air by a writer, I am not so amazed at the turn of events.

I am also not impressed by Ben Stone’s crazy wall of photos, articles, thumbtacks, strings and connecting points, like he’s the suburban dad version of Carrie Mathison from Homeland. He is not solving the problems of the Middle East or even solving a crime, he thinks he is going to solve the meaning of the universe. But instead, he’s just just motioning at a wall, talking about how good he is at math. What math is involved exactly??? As far as I can tell, all that wall has done for him is serve as a way for him to recognize the other passengers from Flight 828 as they randomly pop up in different episodes. There are no dots actually connected. Ever.

Is that the point? That nobody is ever going to figure out the meaning of the universe no matter how many thumbtacks they use?

Here’s some other questions. Why do the characters see one example of something (like the death date) and then all immediately believe it’s true without question? Why do the beliefs of the cult leader make more sense than the dad? Why are the shadowy figures who seem to foretell the onset of the apocalypse all throughout season 2, revealed to be just a bunch of meth addicts? And most importantly, why do we all keep watching even though the storylines just get more and more ridiculous?

I remember seeing the promo for Manifest a few years back when it first started airing on NBC (I can’t believe this actually aired on network television), but I didn’t tune in until it appeared recently on Netflix. This is because I have reached the age where I no longer know how to turn on my TV, so I just wait for shows to appear on my iPhone and then watch them late at night on my tiny screen after everyone else is sleeping. Phone watching is the new cure for/cause of insomnia. Do you suffer from this too?

Manifest is perfect for insomnia viewing because it’s so bad, you don’t care if you fall asleep. The next night, when you start watching again, you will have no idea what is going on regardless of whether you were paying attention or sleeping through it. It also abandons plot lines left and right, so you may think, “Wait. What ever happened to Vance? Didn’t he fake his own death so that he could fully dedicate himself to solving the Flight 828 mystery? I must have missed the very important part of the story where he went off the grid again…” But nope. You didn’t miss anything. They just stopped paying his salary to appear on set. Also, that conversation between the police chief and Jared that you made you feel like they were referencing something you missed so you rewatched the last episode all over again? Nope. You didn’t miss anything. That was intentionally vague dialogue to throw you off track. Apparently, Manifest’s secret strategy for plot twists is bad writing.

I think the reason we all can’t stop watching this show is because of the massive overpromise. We are hoping for a satisfactory ending or something that will make sense of everything, even though all signs point to that being completely implausible. There is no answer as to why a plane would disappear for five years because that scenario is impossible. No matter how much “math” Ben Stone pretends he’s doing on his crazy wall of nonsensical connections. This is why everyone watching Lost wanted the answer to be that they were dead all along. We don’t know what happens when you die so that’s the only ending that made sense.

Personally, I started watching for the drama, but I ended up watching for the comedy. I’m counting how many times they say “calling” (about 40 times per episode), laughing every time Zeke’s frostbite worsens (that moment where he actually flicked ice cubes off his shoulders!), cringing at every mention of “the Major” (don’t you have better things to do, Elizabeth Marvel?) and loving how many of you guys have shared my love for something so terrible. I haven’t watched it yet but I hear the third season gets even worse.

The writers of Manifest say they wrote a six season story arc. But as a perfect ending to this dumpster fire, the show was canceled after three seasons, with a huge cliffhanger in the final moments, so we’ll never know where the show was really going or how it was supposed to end. Perhaps that was Manifest’s destiny all along.

Or maybe Netflix will pick it up five years later like no time has passed.

Do you watch Manifest? Am I being too harsh? Not harsh enough? Please share your thoughts below! And if you like the idea of me writing about media and entertainment more, let me know in the comments!

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