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From the time I was 10, I’ve been obsessed with what it means to grow older. I’m curious about what it means to others, of all ages, and so I invite them to take “The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire.”

Here, writer, podcaster, veteran magazine editor, and newsletter-er, and all around Gen X icon responds. -Sari Botton

Kim France writes the newsletter Girls of a Certain Age, and co-hosts the podcast Everything is Fine. Both are for women over 40. She had a long career in magazines, working as a writer and editor at Sassy, Spin, New York magazine, Elle, and others. In 2000, she founded Lucky magazine, and ran it until 2010. These days she lives in Brooklyn with her husband and her dog.

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How old are you?

I turned 60 last week.

Is there another age you associate with yourself in your mind? If so, what is it? And why, do you think?  

Maybe 50, because that’s around the age I was when I accepted the course my life has taken, and stopped mourning the life I didn’t get, and things that didn’t happen for me.

I’m definitely nicer than I used to be, more thoughtful of others and less self-involved (while still being somewhat self-involved). I like looking back on all the cool things I got to do and the decades that I lived through. I have more perspective, and a lot of gratitude for the fact that I emerged from some difficult midlife years intact.

Do you feel old for your age? Young for your age? Just right? Are you in step with your peers?

Definitely a bit young. I didn’t have kids, which was always the event that I thought automatically turned you into an adult (I realize now that this isn’t true, and that there are many ways to become an adult). Still, kids give you meaningful milestones, and for a while I did feel out of step with my peers because I did not have them. 

What do you like about being your age?

I’m definitely nicer than I used to be, more thoughtful of others and less self-involved (while still being somewhat self-involved). I like looking back on all the cool things I got to do and the decades that I lived through. I have more perspective, and a lot of gratitude for the fact that I emerged from some difficult midlife years intact.

What is difficult about being your age?

Menopause has not been my idea of fun. 

What is surprising about being your age, or different from what you expected, based on what you were told?

That I would still feel, fundamentally, like myself; that aging in and of itself itself doesn’t really change your basic essence. 

I didn’t have kids, which was always the event that I thought automatically turned you into an adult (I realize now that this isn’t true, and that there are many ways to become an adult). Still, kids give you meaningful milestones, and for a while I did feel out of step with my peers because I did not have them. 

What has aging given you? Taken away from you?

It has given me confidence, wisdom, and experience. It has taken away confidence as well, but of a different, more superficial kind.

What are some age-related milestones you are looking forward to? Or ones you “missed,” and might try to reach later, off-schedule, according to our culture and its expectations? 

I just had a meaningful milestone—turning 60, and about a year ago, I got married for the second time, another big milestone, and not something I ever expected would happen. As for milestones in the future, I’m looking forward to being able to board the plane first. There are also young people in my life—a stepson and some nephews—and I look forward to watching them reach meaningful milestones in their own lives. 

What has been your favorite age so far, and why? Would you go back to this age if you could?

My late 20s and early 30s were incredibly fun and exciting. I was living in New York City, working in the field I’d dreamt of a career in, going out to see bands, throwing and going to parties, and running with a big pack of friends. But as great as those years were, I would not in a million years want to relive them. I said and did a lot of dumb shit and it would be torture to repeat that.

Is there someone who is older than you, who makes growing older inspiring to you? Who is your aging idol and why?

Is it predictable to say my mother? She is 86, and has remained active and curious about the world around her in a way that’s truly inspiring. She has more friends, and a more active social life, than I do, including a weekly poker game with a bunch of other older broads. She lost her husband several years ago, and they had a wonderful marriage—they did everything together and truly adored each other. But she always says the years since he’s been gone have been good ones, and I think that’s because she refused to retreat after his death, but instead just forged ahead. 

My late 20s and early 30s were incredibly fun and exciting. I was living in New York City, working in the field I’d dreamt of a career in, going out to see bands, throwing and going to parties, and running with a big pack of friends. But as great as those years were, I would not in a million years want to relive them. I said and did a lot of dumb shit and it would be torture to repeat that.

What aging-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?

My body has changed in ways I did not anticipate, and do not appreciate. This has by necessity changed the way I dress—it’s been a while since I tucked something in, for starters. Before these changes, I think I had a pretty good handle on my personal style, but now I feel like I’m having to recreate it with my new body shape, and I don’t think I’ve totally figured it out yet. 

What’s an aging-related adjustment you refuse to make, and why?

So far, I have continued to dye my hair, which my hairdresser says is about 60% gray by now. I plan on revisiting the topic when I get to 100%, but I’m also at peace with the notion of continuing to color it, maybe forever. 

What’s your philosophy on celebrating birthdays as an adult? How do you celebrate yours? 

I prefer to celebrate with others than to go off to my corner and sulk, though I have definitely done both of those things. But I try to keep the mood upbeat, because I know people who didn’t make it to my age, and I do feel grateful. For my 60th, I went out with a smallish group, for dinner and karaoke, and it was an insanely fun night. 

Previously Kim France wrote “Everything (Really) Is Fine” for Oldster. Her mother, Eve France, took The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire recently, too.

This is 86-and-a-Half: Eve France Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

Listen to Oldster’s Sari Botton on the Everything is Fine podcast, co-hosted by Kim France and Jennifer Romolini.

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